My Baseball Star

Ever since Seth was old enough to hold one, he has been throwing the ball like a pro. We were able to toss a baseball to him by the time he was 3, and he could hit it with a bat. My son is naturally athletic and naturally talented at alot of things. But baseball is by far, his expertise. He is not even 8 years old yet, and even his coaches will take their glove off and shake their hand after catching a throw from Seth. It always makes us laugh when he gets up to bat and the other team's coach will tell the kids to back up.

We started t-ball back when he was 5 and his coach was instantly enamoured. He would tell us how talented Seth was and how he couldn't believe how great he was at such a young age. Needless to say, we were on the same team the following year. This year, we have moved up to coach pitch and of course, we are with the same coach/team. We wouldn't go anywhere else. Besides, the coach told us if we didn't stick with tri-cities baseball because we moved to North Fort Worth, he would hire a driver just to get Seth to and from practices. We stuck with tri-cities of course.

Coach pitch is much more exciting than t-ball. It's awesome. This year we are with basically the same exact team as two years ago(it alternates every other year with the kids who move up and those who stay behind) and our boys have gotten even better than they were. Seth is hitting like a pro and he is an expert fielder. Ok, so he isn't fielding like a major leaguer, but for his age group, he is pretty dang good!


This weekend we had a game, and while our team couldn't quite catch the other team and we lost our game, we played so well! Seth made 7 outs during the game! One ball he caught at short stop and ran across 2nd base and the other 6 were outs he made while playing 1st. I am so proud of him!! He got the game ball. By the time we graduate from high school, I think we may have to purchase a special shelf just for all his games balls. He is the most amazing kid and I love him.

Pretty Princess

Stella is my sweet girly girl! She loves purses and she has always been in love with jewelry. Last night we got a visit from my SIL and she brought a very large bag full of beads for the kids. Stella was already in bed, so she didn't get to see the beads. This morning when Stella walked in the living room, she strolled by them, casually glancing in their direction. Then, she stopped dead in her tracks, and turned around and looked right at them. Her eyes got wide and she reached out her arms and ran to them, squealing! She put her hands in the beads and pulled handfulls of colorful strings out while giggling. She picked one and took it to her brother, who dutifully put it on her while she beamed from ear to ear!

Today is the last day of daycare for both kiddos. I take Stella to her daycare in the morning and Joe takes Seth to his. When I dropped Stella off this morning, the teachers were gushing over her pretty beads and the purple flower in her hair. They said she is such a sweet little princess and they are all so sad to see her go. They said when any teacher goes into her classroom, she always smiles big and runs up to them for hugs. They said they are all attached to her and she entertains everyone on a daily basis. They said she is one of the sweetest, smartest, most adorable babies they've ever had!!! Boy am I proud to hear that! I love my little princess. Now, perhaps they say these things to all parents, but that's ok by me, because I agree with him wholeheartedly!!

I am Mommy, hear me ROAR!

 There was a time that I said I would be the coolest mom there was. I wouldn't nag my kids. I wouldn't spank them. I would be their best friend. I would let them eat whatever they wanted. I would give them choices. I would not freak out if they tried smoking pot. I would never tell them they couldn't see a boy or girl they liked. I wouldn't have to ground them because I'd be so cool, that they'd never do anything wrong. The list goes on and on.

 There was a time that I said I would still go out on the weekends when I had kids. I would just get a babysitter and I would have my fun. No kids are going to slow me down!! There was a time I said that I would never have a "normal" job or that I would never put my kids in daycare. There was a time I said I would never quit smoking. I would never be overweight. I would never go to bed early or eat dinner before 8 pm. I would never be home at 10, rather, I'd be leaving the house at 10 to go out. I even said I would never wear maternity clothes. I would just adapt my wardrobe because of course I would be the cutest pregnant person alive!

 In 2003, a few things changed. Suddenly, I was tired all the time. Suddenly, cigarette smoke made me vomit. Suddenly, I put on alot of weight. I preferred to be in bed early when I had to get up early because I knew it would be a long day if I didn't get my sleep. I ate all day long instead of my prior once per day. I drank milk all the time, even though I hated it. I soon traded my low rider, hip hugging, super tight jeans for scary looking, ugly maternity pants with strange looking panels in the front. Then the things I would never do changed a bit...

 I said I would never let my baby cry it out. I would breast feed exclusively from day one. I would not get an epidural. I would never drink caffeine again. I would not let my baby cosleep. I would never give my baby chicken nuggets or french fries. I still held onto never putting my baby in daycare. I'd never let my baby sleep on his stomach! I would still be the coolest mom with the most open mind. I would never yell at my child.

 I got that epidural and I liked it! I traded my late nights for all nighters and early mornings. I traded my nights out for cuddles and going to bed as early as I could. I traded designer clothes for sweats and tennis shoes. I traded regular showers for breast feeding. I gave my baby formula(gasp!) because he was so big and so hungry and I couldn't keep up. I frequently fell asleep while breast feeding, and rather than moving my sleeping child when I woke up and found him asleep in my arms, I let him sleep where he was, on his tummy even. I drank soda. I cried when I left him with a sitter and went to a party. I put him in daycare so I could go to work at my Monday through Friday job in an accounting office. I turned down requests to go out with friends because I wanted to spend my time with him. And then came another...

 I let her cry it out! Oh my what a horrible mom I must be!! I let her sleep on her stomach from day 1. I only breastfed her for a month(gasp!!) and she survived. I didn't lose weight after baby #2, rather stayed bigger than I've ever been and never give up the opportunity to eat a cheeseburger! Woops. I frequently feed both of my children chicken nuggets and french fries when we are on the run. I drink soda. I have spanked my son when he was out of line. I have used the line, "Because I said so!!" and "I'm the Mommy and you will do what I say!" I have told my children no, and I still allow them to sleep with me if they want to. I feel proud when my son says, "You're not my friend!!" I feel panicky at the thought of my children dating, or driving, or worse, getting married. The thought of my kids smoking pot or drinking alcohol at any point in life makes me want to crawl in a hole and die. I am no longer worried about being the cool parent. I have passed up offers to go out to dinner with friends to be at my son's baseball practice or to make sure I'm home when my daughter is ready to go to bed.

 An exciting weekend for me is no longer getting drunk, staying out until the wee hours of the morning and starting all over again the next day. An exciting weekend consists of baseball practices on Friday nights, chicken nuggets in the car, helping my baby learn her ABC's on Saturday and clapping because she says, "Quack Quack" when we point to a duck. Playing catch in the backyard and watching Baby Einstein(and enjoying it) on a Sunday make me happy. Doing silly dances just to get a giggle is exciting now. Guiding my children into the kind of adults I want them to be and making sure they know that I mean business when I say no is on my priority list. Making sure they know they are loved is number 1. Keeping them safe ranks a close second and being their best friend? From experience, I know this happens later in life, after they have grown to realize that Mom really did know best. Mom wasn't as prude as they thought. Mom only wanted what was best for them and if she didn't love them, she never would have nagged, or said no.

 Yes, I am Mommy. Hear me ROAR!!!

Dear Grandpa

8 years ago, I got the hardest phone call I've ever received. I will never forget that day or the days that led up to it. Sometimes, I forget to brush my teeth. Sometimes, I put my keys in a different place and have to search the house to find them. I often forget to sign Seth's folder for school, but I remember so clearly what I was doing when I got that call.

You were very sick, had been in the ICU, and the doctors said you were doing alot better. You were in a regular room. I got to come and see you and you told me that you would go home soon, maybe the next day. I leaned down to hug you and you gave me a big kiss. As I turned to go, you grabbed my hand and squeezed. "Take care of that baby," you said. I looked down at my growing belly. I was pregnant with my first child. I know that you were disappointed at first when you found out I had become pregnant before marriage at such a young age. But you never let on that you felt that way. You asked me how I was feeling often and you still told me you loved me and treated me well. "I will, Grandpa," I said. It was the last thing you said to me. I took it to heart Grandpa. I want you to be proud of me, and I have taken extra special care of him just for you.

Shortly after that day in your hospital room, I was visiting my boyfriend at the time, Mark. I lived in Denton, because I had been going to school at Texas Women's University. I had come to Bedford to see him and stay the night. We decided to go get something to eat before I headed back to Denton to go to work at my job at Chuck E Cheese. While I ate lunch at the restaurant he worked at, I realized my phone was ringing. I ignored it. When we were done eating, I went to the restroom and Mark got started working his afternoon shift. I looked at my phone to see who had called. Under missed calls, it said Mommy. I knew. I knew why she called. I don't know how, but I did. I stared at her name for the longest time before I finally pressed the voicemail button and slowly lifted the phone to my ear. "Call me as soon as you get this," she said. Her voice sounded so far away. It was as if I was in slow motion as I walked slowly out to my truck. I again, stared down at "Mommy" on the screen of my phone, after I had gotten in the truck. I prayed. "Dear God, please don't let it be. Please let it be anything other than what I think it is."

I pressed the call button. The phone rang and she answered. I told her I was returning her call and she very calmly told me that you were gone. You had passed away in the night. I could feel my heart breaking. It hurt so very badly. "No," I said. She asked if I wanted my Daddy to come and get me so I could join the family at your house. I declined. I said I was fine. I did not tell her I was already in Bedford. I don't know why. I told her I needed to take a shower and I would come soon. We hung up after saying, "I love you." I sat in my truck for what seemed like an eternity before I calmly walked back into the restaurant and asked Mark if I may go back to his house and shower. I told him what happened. He gave me a hug and told me to go ahead to his house. I went back there, and I took a shower and I laid down on the bed. And I cried. And cried. I cried for ages it seemed and then I fell asleep.

 I woke up some time later and realized I needed to be with my family. I got up and I went to your house and found my Mommy and hugged her so hard. I found Grandma and hugged her hard as well. That day was a sad day for me. It was especially hard finding out that you would never meet your first great grandchild. I decided I would make you so proud of me. I took your picture with me to the hospital when Seth was born. I felt that you should be there for his birth. After he was born, during the first few hours I was alone with him, I pulled out your picture and I showed him. I said, "Seth, this is your Great Grandpa. He was a wonderful man and I loved him. I am so very sad that you will never get to meet him." I wave at your grave site when I drive by it. If I must go to that area of town, I make sure to drive by. I like to think you are sitting on the bench there, waving back to me. I like to think that you are watching me and that you hear me when I talk to you. I hope that you know how hard I have worked to honor your last request of me; to take care of that baby. I talk about you to him often. I miss you greatly. My heart still hurts when I think of that day. I feel a twinge of sadness during every momentous occasion that I wish you were attending. I just hope that I can make you proud. I pray to God every day that I will always make you proud and that one day, hopefully a very long time from now, I will get to hug you again, and you will get to meet my husband and my children. I love you, Grandpa.

Love,
Karen

These moments are what I live for...

Friday and Saturday we had such a great time together as a family that I felt compelled to share it with everyone. I got off work at 3:30 like normal on Friday and picked up the kids so I could go home and get everyone ready for baseball practice at 6:30. We got to practice and chatted with the other parents as we watched our children learn and play. Then Coach Kyle told the kids to give their glove to their moms or dads and we played parents against kids. Now, I used to play fast pitch softball, so I always enjoy playing with the kids. I used to be pretty good at it. We fielded first, and then we batted. I hit a homerun. Everyone said, "Now we know where Seth got his hitting talent from." Good times.

As it is Lent, and it was Friday, Joe and I decided we should brave Stella's grumpiness over not being in bed already and go out to eat at Catfish and Company. After all, we hadn't celebrated his new job yet. Yes, that's right!! My hubby got a new job and a great one! One that he wanted, one with growth, one that pays much more than he was making at the job he hated. We are thrilled! Now, maybe it was the rather strong martini I was served at the restaurant, but it seemed that we had such a great time eating! Both kids were wonderfully behaved. Stella was patient and happy, and Seth used his manners while he ordered his food. My favorite line was when he ordered his meal, and the waitress asked if he would like honey mustard or ranch. He said, "Honey mustard please." He then smiled and asked, "What is honey mustard?" The waitress laughed and so did we. Just so you know, he did not care for the honey mustard, but he did try it. At one point during our meal, Stella reached out for her brother, saying, "Seth!" He picked her up out of her high chair and she gave him a big hug around his neck and a big sloppy kiss on the cheek. It warmed my heart. I noticed an older lady at the next table looking at them with a grin and a twinkle in her eye.

Earlier that day, Joe had surprised me with the kinect for the xbox 360 and the Dance Central game I had told him I really wanted to try. When we got home from the restaurant, we put the kids to bed and he set up the game for us to play. We danced our hearts out and had so much fun!! I do believe the highlights of the night were when Joe danced to Poker Face by Lady GaGa, and I did Rump Shaker!! We laughed and danced and had so much fun together. It will definitely whip me back into shape if I keep it up, that's for sure. I had to shower before bed because it got me so sweaty! We were both super sore all weekend!

Saturday, Seth's team had their first game of the season. The team we played(The Rangers) are an ultra competitive team. They play fall and spring ball and go to tournaments together.  The Rangers are probably the best team in the league in our age group and our boys are afraid of them. They played a team also called The Rangers back in t-ball that were not nice at all, and can't seem to understand that this isn't the same team. Anyhow, our boys kicked their butts Saturday night!!! I mean, it was amazing. There were a couple of innings where the Rangers didn't even score a point at all! We kept a big lead on them for most of the game. Unfortunately, in the last inning, they caught up and tied us. Luckily, there is a 5 run limit at this age, so they were unable to pass us. We were so excited and so proud of our boys!

After our game, we went to a good friend's house(their boy is on our team as well) for a bbq and some drinks. We set Stella up in her pack n play in their bedroom so she could sleep while the older kids played and the adults talked. We had a great time! We went home around midnight and that ended our wonderful weekend. Sunday wasn't fabulous because we found out something was wrong with the car and due to needing to limit driving in it until it is fixed, we had to miss the monthly lunch at my Grandma's house. I was sad about that, but enjoyed hanging out with my family all day, doing nothing. The small moments from this weekend made me so happy because these are the moments that I live for every day.

The Three Piggy Opera

Seth made his singing debut on Tuesday evening in the first grade performance of The Three Piggy Opera. As you can see from the picture, he wasn't necessarily thrilled to be in the chorus. Poor little guy, along with his sister, has been sick since the weekend. He didn't attend school on Monday, so he missed the dress rehearsal for the school. He wasn't feeling that great Tuesday evening, but he seemed excited about the play.

For several weeks, he had been singing the songs and doing the movements. He would turn bright red and smile an embarrassed smile when I would watch him. I was hoping he would do great and he did, although he was definitely embarrassed!

As we waited for the show to begin, Stella became restless and fussy since she was not only sick, but it was her bedtime. I had to hand the camera over to Joe and go stand with Stella on the side. As soon as the music started, Stella quieted down and became interested in what was going on. The kids began to walk out to the stage. When Seth walked out, he was trying to hide his piggy ears with his hands, and looked very frightened! He saw me, and I smiled encouragingly at him. He grinned and turned red. When the chorus began, he looked around and finally began singing and reluctantly doing his movements. There were many moments where he just stood there not singing at all. Everytime he would steal a glance at me, I smiled, and gave him the thumbs up and he would grin too. Stella loved it, and clapped happily and pointed at him, saying, "Seth!" The play was probably the cutest thing I've ever seen!!!

Baby Fever

Well, my youngest baby is over 1 now and growing and learning so very fast! She is finally sleeping through the night most nights. She is feeding herself, no more bottles, no more baby food. She now wishes to run away from me, expressing her independence. She no longer sits still when you put her down on the floor. She points at things she wants and even says a few words. And don't get me started on how independent Seth is! Oh my. He doesn't even need help bathing anymore...he gets his own breakfast in the morning. He reads and writes. The only thing both are consistent on is bedtime. I do still tuck them both in and give bedtime snuggles and kisses. I love that Seth calls being tucked in being snuggled. "Mommy, I'm tired, will you snuggle me?"

Call me crazy, but I am beginning to feel the fever. As much as I didn't enjoy my last pregnancy, there is something about having a tiny human growing inside of you that is so wonderful. But would I be insane to start all over again? Probably. However, I have always said I wanted 3 or 4 children, so perhaps I am not done. Maybe it is all the friends I see having babies right now that is causing me to become nostalgic. My husband will tell me to remember all the morning sickness, and the back aches, and the swollen feet. He will tell me to remember the sleepless nights and the post partum depression. He will tell me to remember how I cried to him about the pain of breastfeeding and how I cried when I was no longer able to breastfeed. He will tell me to remember all the times that I didn't know what was wrong with the baby when she cried, before she could communicate at all.

These are all vividly clear in my memory, but I still think I am not done. I mean, how can I not also remember the joy and disbelief I felt when I saw that little pink line appear? How can I not remember the absolute wonder and awe the first time I heard the heartbeat? One does not ever forget the feeling of your child moving inside of you for the first time. It is just a bizarre and wonderful sensation. Who can forget the first time you hear, "It's a boy" or "It's a girl" while watching your sweet little baby move around on the screen at the dr's office, and your heart soars with pride and excitement...How can you forget the time you spend wondering what baby will look like? Will he have my smile? Will she have her Daddy's eyes? And the moment you realize you are going into labor...and you realize your whole life is about to change forever! The moment the nurses hand you your baby for the first time and you look into eachother's eyes and you are in love instantly. And you know that you will do anything and everything for this tiny beautiful person. Love at first sight. It definitely exists.

But, the time is not right for another baby. I just began working, and Joe is not working at all. We will have to adjust our whole schedule once he begins working again. We will have to take our kids out of daycare and begin using a nanny due to the hours we work and the commute to where we work. Some people would say it is never the right time for a baby. But as responsible adults, we have the control over it, so it just isn't the time for us. I can't help daydreaming about when it might happen again for us though. I can't help wishing for another little boy so that we can use the name we have already picked out for a boy or another little girl so that Stella will have a best friend like I have in my sister...oh the possibilities. But for now I must put that wish aside and take care of the babies I already have.