There was a time that I said I would be the coolest mom there was. I wouldn't nag my kids. I wouldn't spank them. I would be their best friend. I would let them eat whatever they wanted. I would give them choices. I would not freak out if they tried smoking pot. I would never tell them they couldn't see a boy or girl they liked. I wouldn't have to ground them because I'd be so cool, that they'd never do anything wrong. The list goes on and on.
There was a time that I said I would still go out on the weekends when I had kids. I would just get a babysitter and I would have my fun. No kids are going to slow me down!! There was a time I said that I would never have a "normal" job or that I would never put my kids in daycare. There was a time I said I would never quit smoking. I would never be overweight. I would never go to bed early or eat dinner before 8 pm. I would never be home at 10, rather, I'd be leaving the house at 10 to go out. I even said I would never wear maternity clothes. I would just adapt my wardrobe because of course I would be the cutest pregnant person alive!
In 2003, a few things changed. Suddenly, I was tired all the time. Suddenly, cigarette smoke made me vomit. Suddenly, I put on alot of weight. I preferred to be in bed early when I had to get up early because I knew it would be a long day if I didn't get my sleep. I ate all day long instead of my prior once per day. I drank milk all the time, even though I hated it. I soon traded my low rider, hip hugging, super tight jeans for scary looking, ugly maternity pants with strange looking panels in the front. Then the things I would never do changed a bit...
I said I would never let my baby cry it out. I would breast feed exclusively from day one. I would not get an epidural. I would never drink caffeine again. I would not let my baby cosleep. I would never give my baby chicken nuggets or french fries. I still held onto never putting my baby in daycare. I'd never let my baby sleep on his stomach! I would still be the coolest mom with the most open mind. I would never yell at my child.
I got that epidural and I liked it! I traded my late nights for all nighters and early mornings. I traded my nights out for cuddles and going to bed as early as I could. I traded designer clothes for sweats and tennis shoes. I traded regular showers for breast feeding. I gave my baby formula(gasp!) because he was so big and so hungry and I couldn't keep up. I frequently fell asleep while breast feeding, and rather than moving my sleeping child when I woke up and found him asleep in my arms, I let him sleep where he was, on his tummy even. I drank soda. I cried when I left him with a sitter and went to a party. I put him in daycare so I could go to work at my Monday through Friday job in an accounting office. I turned down requests to go out with friends because I wanted to spend my time with him. And then came another...
I let her cry it out! Oh my what a horrible mom I must be!! I let her sleep on her stomach from day 1. I only breastfed her for a month(gasp!!) and she survived. I didn't lose weight after baby #2, rather stayed bigger than I've ever been and never give up the opportunity to eat a cheeseburger! Woops. I frequently feed both of my children chicken nuggets and french fries when we are on the run. I drink soda. I have spanked my son when he was out of line. I have used the line, "Because I said so!!" and "I'm the Mommy and you will do what I say!" I have told my children no, and I still allow them to sleep with me if they want to. I feel proud when my son says, "You're not my friend!!" I feel panicky at the thought of my children dating, or driving, or worse, getting married. The thought of my kids smoking pot or drinking alcohol at any point in life makes me want to crawl in a hole and die. I am no longer worried about being the cool parent. I have passed up offers to go out to dinner with friends to be at my son's baseball practice or to make sure I'm home when my daughter is ready to go to bed.
An exciting weekend for me is no longer getting drunk, staying out until the wee hours of the morning and starting all over again the next day. An exciting weekend consists of baseball practices on Friday nights, chicken nuggets in the car, helping my baby learn her ABC's on Saturday and clapping because she says, "Quack Quack" when we point to a duck. Playing catch in the backyard and watching Baby Einstein(and enjoying it) on a Sunday make me happy. Doing silly dances just to get a giggle is exciting now. Guiding my children into the kind of adults I want them to be and making sure they know that I mean business when I say no is on my priority list. Making sure they know they are loved is number 1. Keeping them safe ranks a close second and being their best friend? From experience, I know this happens later in life, after they have grown to realize that Mom really did know best. Mom wasn't as prude as they thought. Mom only wanted what was best for them and if she didn't love them, she never would have nagged, or said no.
Yes, I am Mommy. Hear me ROAR!!!