Friday, July 8, 2011

Working Girl

No, no, no...I'm not working on the corner!!! I mean, I work for a living...sort of. Recently, Joe and I have discovered that despite our best efforts at saving, and utilizing my amazing administrative skills at a decent paying job, we are breaking even. We pay for childcare of course, and it seems after insurance is taken out of my check, and childcare is paid, I only have enough left each week for gas! This is the reason I really don't see how single moms get by! I was a single mom for a while, but I totally cheated and lived with my parents. Had it not been for them, I don't know what I would have done, especially since I made like $3/hr less than I do now at that time! Wow.

So, it looks like perhaps we will go back to me staying at home. When, we are not totally sure, because we do need to have insurance for our family of four, and right now, I am the carrier, so that is pretty important. But, at some point, when he is able to get insurance through work, and we have been able to save up some money, we will make that transition. This makes me so happy! I miss my kids a ridiculous amount during the day. I find myself texting my nanny more than doing my job(insert shrug here), just so I can know what they are up to all day. I have discovered that the "corporate" world no longer agrees with me. I am not a fan of having to pretend to be in a great mood all day when you aren't. I hate the fact that there are fake people in the workplace that set out to make other people's days hard. I hate that people will backstab one another to get higher in the company. I hate the monotony of doing the exact same thing day after day, week after week. It's mind numbing. Being in payroll, I really dislike being in charge of people's money and having them yell at you when you make a mistake. You have to be a robot. Having spent 2 years at home after I lost my job in 2009, I have now seen both worlds.

Don't get me wrong...I am no domestic goddess. I mean...I have a pretty severe anxiety disorder, which I take medication for. I'm not completely nuts as my husband would probably tell you(lol), but I do freak out over really weird things pretty easily. It is seriously hard to go to work every day with seemingly normal people and hide the fact that I would like to pull my hair out because I had to drive over a bridge to get there. But, being at home with my kids is my feng really is. Despite the fact that I am self admittedly lazy and not the best housekeeper, I am a great mom. I love my kids to pieces and would do anything in the world for them. I absolutely adore them, even when they are being bratty. I think they are tiny geniuses and I love playing with them and watching them learn something new every day. If all I ever had to do the rest of my life was be a mom, I would die a very happy lady. When people ask what I want to do, I usually say I'd like to be a teacher someday...or work with kids that have special needs, maybe even teach elementary music, but truthfully, all I really ever wanted to be was a mom. I am finally a mom and I can't wait until I can be a full time mom again. It is my favorite job in the world. Also, it is the most rewarding job I have ever and will ever do in my life.