Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Red Headed Freak

In the mornings, I drop my kids off at daycare. Stella goes in one room and Seth goes in another. Generally, he walks straight into his and I come back to tell him goodbye after I get his sister settled.

*Note* I died my hair a lovely shade of auburn this past weekend. Yes, it's pertinent to the story.

Anywho...I got Stella settled and went to Seth's room to say goodbye. He was sitting at a table holding court with two girls who were clearly entranced with whatever he was talking about. Star Wars or Transformers, I'm sure. Very stimulating conversation. I kept saying his name over and over but he didn't hear me. So, I walked over to him and said his name once more.

He looked up at me with that mischievous grin and said, "Hi, you red headed freak!" At this exact moment, a mother was sitting her daughter, who was definitely not more than 4 or 5 years old, down at the table and her eyes got so wide. She definitely did not approve of his endearing greeting. I was in panic mode! She is judging me with those eyes! She thinks my kid is a hooligan!! OH DEAR GOD, what do I do!???!!!

Of course I immediately said, "Seth, that is not an appropriate thing to say to anyone. We don't want others repeating something like that." I said this in my very calm, nice mother who never cusses voice. The other mother swiftly nodded and left. WHEW. Fuck, that was close. Man, I thought it was going to get ugly. Really, I found his outburst quite hilarious. I almost laughed. Out loud.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Wasabi is NOT a decongestant

I am coming out of what might be the worst sinus infection I've ever had. I mean, it was bad. I thought it was a normal cold. At least, that's how it started anyway. I woke up with a sore throat on last Sunday and by Friday, my face was puffy and I couldn't breathe if my life depended on it!

Thursday, I was so miserable that I didn't know what else to do. I had tried everything! I had tried vapo-rub, I had tried running the shower as hot as possible and sitting in the steam. I had tried sudafed, sinex, and all the other decongestants I could get my hands on. I was desperate!!! So, after Seth's baseball practice Thursday, I stopped at my favorite sushi place and got the Louisiana Roll. I got that because it is one of the spiciest rolls on the menu and I knew it would also have wasabi. Surely, if I put some wasabi on my sushi, it would clear up my head!

I got home and I put a tiny amount of the wasabi on my sushi and ate it. Nothing. Seriously. Nothing. I didn't taste it. I thought...hmmm...normally, that small amount would make my nose burn and my eyes water! So, I put a bigger glob on the next piece. I put it in my mouth, so hungry for sweet relief...but once again, I tasted nothing. Nothing at all!! I wanted to cry. I put a small amount directly on my tongue...I am completely serious. I was that desperate. It didn't work. I would have cried, by my sinuses were so swollen I think my tear ducts were broken.

I went to Care Now the next day after going to work for a whopping 20 minutes. My boss took one look at me and said, "Go home!" So, I drove to Care Now, feeling like my head would explode from the pressure at any moment. When the nurse asked me if I had taken any medications, I told her everything I had tried to clear up my congestion, including eating wasabi.

So, the dr comes in, takes one look at me and says, "You definitely have a sinus infection. Even your face is swollen!" Of course, she did an exam and said everything was super swollen and she would recommend a steroid shot in addition to antibiotics. And then as she is looking at the chart, she makes a funny face. I can't imagine what she is looking at. And this became a strange and awkward conversation.

Dr: Huh.

Me: What is it?

Dr: I guess I've never heard of this before. You took wasabi decongestant?

Me: Um. No. What?

Dr: It says here that you took wasabi decongestant to try to clear your sinuses.

Me: Oh. Um, I tried to eat some because I was that desperate. It's not like it comes in pill form or something.

She started laughing and showed me that the nurse had written it down as a medicine. Ha! Silly nurse.

Later that night, as I laid there feeling sorry for myself, Seth crawled into bed with me and grinned that adorable dimpled grin at me.

Seth: Snuggle me. I'm ready for bed.

Me: I am sick and weak. Want to be a big boy and snuggle yourself?

Seth: No! I'm not a big boy. I'm a little tiny boy the size of an acorn.

Me: Say what?

Seth: Snuggle me!

Me: Ok. You win.

Who can resist those dimples? Seriously.