Thursday, September 29, 2011

Supermom I am not...

I guess it's time I turned my cape back in. Sometimes I try to pretend like I have all my shit together, but the truth is that parenting for me is like a fly by the seat of your pants adventure.

Trying to balance a full time job that has the strictest attendance policy ever heard of, an 8 year old in 2nd grade who plays baseball, a toddler that thinks she is 13, a husband who is stuck on the night shift and a house that is never really clean is like walking into a lion's den hoping you won't get eaten alive.

As a mom, I am supposed to be the one who is organized and takes care of everything. I'm the one who knows where everything is and when everything is. But lately, I have been a little more scatterbrained than normal because I've had an extra load of stuff to deal with.

For some reason, I ended up at a job really far away from my house. Like, it takes me an hour to get there in the morning and an hour to get home in the afternoon. If it wasn't for the stupid highway known as 35 that makes me want to stab people, it probably would only take half an hour, but it takes about an hour. Also, we chose to keep Seth in tri-cities for baseball because he was happy there, even after we moved pretty far north, so on days when there is a game or practice during the week, we are in the car quite a bit since due to traffic, it also take about an hour to make it to the tri-cities area.

Tuesday, I got off work at 4 pm and headed to the daycare to get the kiddums. Practice was at 6 pm. I was having a really bad day. We ran home to change and got right back on the road. And then we got stuck in traffic on 820. It was like a parking lot. There was no way we were going to make it to practice at 6. Seth began to cry. This set Stella off. And so there we were, sitting on 820, not moving, while my kids screamed and cried in the backseat. Best. Ride. Ever.

Fast forward to yesterday. I'm sitting at work, counting down the last hour of my day when I receive a text. It says, "Game at 6 tonight. Be there at 5:30." At first, it didn't register and I just put my phone down. And then I picked it back up and looked at it and yelled out loud, "OH FUCK!!!" It was 3:30. If I didn't leave work right then, there was absolutely no way ever that I would make it to the ballpark by 5:30.

OMG!!! I went into panic mode. My heart started beating out of my chest. Stupid anxiety. How could I have forgotten there was a game!!??? How could I NOT know my kid had a game?? This has never happened to me! What kind of mom was I??? OMG, where is his uniform? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! So, I jumped up and ran out of work early. I will probably get in trouble for that later, but I don't really care that much. I jumped in Maude the Mini-van and drove like a bat out of hell and called the daycare.

Me: OMG, I need to speak to my kid because he has a baseball game and I totally forgot and I don't know where his uniform is and I'll never make it on time and I have to find his uniform and has his school bus made it in yet? Can I talk to him? Is that ok?

Daycare Lady:  Um, who is your kid?

Me: Oh. Seth.

Seth gets on the phone and he's all: WHAT? I can't hear you. Hello???

Me: Seth, omg, you have a game and I didn't know and we have to hurry, where is your uniform?

Seth: Um, I can't hear you.


Seth: Yes, you don't have to yell.

Me: Where is your uniform?

Seth: IDK

Me: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Ok, I'll see you soon.

So, I continue breaking a bunch of laws and skid into my driveway and run inside and start throwing things around, looking for his uniform. You might deduce from that sentence that I am also not very organized in my home. It's true. I'm not. I suck at cleaning. Especially at laundry. Laundry is everywhere. It's like it reproduces overnight or something. Anyway, I finally find the uniform and it's underneath a dirty blanket and it smells awful!!! So, out comes the febreeze. I sprayed the shirt like crazy and then dried it for 2 minutes in the dryer and then pulled it out. Still a little funky. So, I sprayed it with Bath & Body Works Pineapple scent.  Ha ha.

I get to the daycare and grab Seth, and he's like: OMG, MOM, you didn't tell me I had a game! When is it? Who are we playing? Where is my uniform?

Me: It's in the backseat, let's go.

He grabs the shirt and says: Mom, it smells funny. Like a girl.


So, we are driving, and this time I'm going slower because it's not ok to break laws when you have children in the car and then suddenly Stella starts yelling.

Stella: Nugg-IT!!!!

Seth: Mom, Stella said nugget.

Stella: Nugg-IT!!!! Nugg-IT!!! PWEESE!!!!!

Me: Stella, I do not have nuggets in the car. My name is Mom, not McDonald's.

Stella: NUGG-IT!!!!!!

So, Seth and I have a good chuckle and he informs me he is also starving. So, because I am a total genius and took back roads instead of the highway, I made it to the general vicinity of the game before 5:30, and I pulled into Chic-fil-a. Stella begins screaming NUGGITS!!!!! and I asked her if she would like a cheeseburger. She didn't think this was that funny and screamed NOOOOO!!!! NUGGGITTTSSSS!!!!

I got the kids some nuggets. We drove to the park and then we won our game 15-0. Seth hit a home run. He also got a game ball. We ended the night smiling and happy. See?

So, maybe I'm not supermom, but I am a mom. And I do try my best and give it my all. Every day. And that is all that matters.

Monday, September 26, 2011

A little extra tidbit

So, I decided to actually reply to my blanket email from Sonic. Here is what I said.

Dear Sonic Drive-In Customer Service Manager:

It is quite apparent to me that you did not even take the time to read my concern and have just sent me a blanket response. Obviously, one supervisor at one store will not be able to change the fact that you no longer have the best item on your menu. I really wish that I could make it clear to you how much I really and truly loved that sandwich. I also really wish that you actually cared.

Sad, breaded chicken sandwichless customer

And here is what I got in return a few seconds after I hit send.

You have replied to an unmonitored email account for Sonic Drive-In.
Should you require further assistance, please contact us at 1-866-OK-SONIC (866-657-6642).

Sigh. Thanks for nothing Sonic. Thanks.

Gee Thanks Sonic

So, Saturday evening, my kiddo had a baseball game, in which he did amazingly well of course! Anyway, we drove to Sonic after the game so he could have some grub after such a great work out. I decided, 'what the hey!' and went to order my favorite sandwich of all time. So, I press the red button and wait for the way too loud tinny voice that always scares the crap out of me. "MAY I TAKE YOUR ORDER PLEASE!?" At this point, I always jump about 5 feet out of my seat and have a heart attack. But once I am calm, I then recite my order.

"I would like a number whatever it was that Seth wanted, and I would like a Breaded Chicken Sandwich, with mustard instead of mayo, on a white bun and add cheese and pickles!" My taste buds were already excited for this delicious treasure! I have been eating this same sandwich for over 10 years now! We got our food and headed home. I open my sandwich and there is not the breaded chicken patty I am accustomed to, but three chicken strips. WTH SONIC??!!! I, of course, being the optimist that I am, decided that they had made a mistake or must have been out of the correct chicken and went ahead and ate the poor substitute of a sandwich. It was NOT delicious. My taste buds cried.

Sunday, I decided we would head to Sonic once again, because we pretty much had no food in the house, the kids were getting restless and loud while Joe was trying to sleep(he works nights), and I was insanely thirsty. Sonic not only has the best drinks, but the coolest ice and the best cups as well. So, off we went. I decided after the torture of a sandwich from the night before, that I deserved the delicious taste of that beloved chicken sandwich.


And after I am done jumping out of my skin, I am like, "What?? You don't have the breaded chicken sandwich anymore??"

She yells back, "ONE SECOND PLEASE!!!!" And I'm thinking to myself..."This cannot be true. How could they possibly no longer have the BEST ITEM on the menu?"

She comes back and scares the shit out of me again, "MA'AM, I'M SORRY. WE DON'T HAVE THAT ANYMORE!!"

And I thought I would cry. She asked if she could offer me something else and I said no she couldn't because that is what I wanted. And I left. Today, I decided to send a complaint to Sonic's customer service. So, I got on their website. I found the contact me section and wrote in my note about what I was upset about, which was the lack of the best item on the menu. However, they made me choose a particular location, which I thought was dumb because it's all of them, not just that one, but whatevs. I hit enter. This is what I got in return:

Dear Karen Hughes:

We are very sorry that your 09/25/2011 visit to Sonic Drive-In did not live up to expectations and are grateful to you for telling us about it. If people like you did not bring these matters to our attention, we would never be able to fix them. We have forwarded your comments to the appropriate drive-in supervisor for the location that you visited. If you have any further concerns in the future, please share them with us. Our goal is to continuously improve the Sonic Drive-In experience and to keep you as regular guest.

Sonic Drive-In
Customer Service Manager

Um. Dear Customer Service Manager:

Obviously, you did not read my letter AT ALL. Forwarding my concern to the appropriate drive-in supervisor will not change the fact that Sonic no longer has the delicious breaded chicken sandwich on the menu. That supervisor will read my note and be like, "Okay, whatever." and throw it away. Obviously, you have just sent me a blanket response and don't really care about my issue at all.  Really? Sonic, I'm very disappointed in you. Sigh. 

Annoyed Customer 
sans breaded chicken sandwich

Monday, September 19, 2011

Where's your baby Stella?

Stella has taken to playing with her babies a lot. She pats their backs, tells them "Shhh", rocks them, puts them to bed and covers them with towels, clothes, etc, and of course, throws them on the floor by their hair when she is angry. What good mom doesn't do that?

Anyway, yesterday, she was being cute and putting her baby to bed on her potty. What an awesome bed!! I wish I got to go to bed on the potty when I was a baby! She then grabbed her baby by the hair and set her gently on the couch, while she got her towel ready to cover her up. Seth took the baby and hid it, and Stella didn't seem to notice since she had become distracted by playing peek-a-boo with her towel. When she went to cover up the baby, finally, Seth says, "Where's your baby Stella?" at which point, she lifts up the towel and is totally surprised to see that the baby is not there!!! It was pretty funny. Luckily for you, I got it on video.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

A Different Kind of September 11th Story

While I do remember exactly where I was and what I was doing on that fateful day in 2001 10 years ago, that story has taken a back burner to where I was and what I was doing on that same day 8 years ago.

September 11, 2003, I was in the hospital giving birth to my precious son and it was the happiest day of my life in my short 21 years. And so I will share that story.

There was a full moon on September 10th, and around 6 pm that evening, I lost my mucous plug. Yes, that is nasty. I won't even try to sugar coat it. But, after that, and I mean, almost within the hour, I began to have contractions. As I was a first time mom and didn't know anything besides what I read in my What to Expect While Expecting book about childbirth or pregnancy(this was before I was internet or computer savvy, ok?), I wasn't quite sure what to do. So, I called my then boyfriend at work and told him I was in labor. He came home shortly after and we began timing my contractions. As I was overdue and was supposed to have my baby on September 7th, I had an appointment at 11 am with my ob/gyn the next day. My contractions never really got closer than 6 or 7 minutes apart throughout the night. I was uncomfortable, but not in pain and took several warm baths to ease my discomfort.

At 11 am, in the dr's office, Dr Gordon checked me and informed us that I was indeed 2 centimeters and that it was time! Woohoo!! He said to go get checked in at the hospital and he'd be over shortly to break my water. Mark(the boyfriend at the time) and I walked to the car and I called my mom. "It's time! We're going to the hospital now!" I told her and she of course said she was on her way. It was beginning to sprinkle. We drove across the parking lot to the women's center and proudly told the nurses at the station we were there to have a baby! They got me all checked in and hooked up to all sorts of contraptions. The first nurse I had I didn't really care for and I was very, very relieved when the nurse who taught our Lamaze class saw my name on the door and asked to replace the other nurse. She was awesome!

I was given some pitocin and Dr Gordon broke my water. He mentioned that there was meconium in the water and that I wouldn't get to hold the baby directly after he was born because they'd want to check him right away. But that this was normal for overdue babies and not to worry. It started to really hurt. I didn't want to get an epidural and was trying to struggle through the pain. My boyfriends dad kept feeding me ice chips. That was really annoying and I felt like screaming at him to stop it, but I knew he was just trying to be nice. My family was all there and so many of my friends were there. I began to hold my breath during contractions. Mark was such an attentive boyfriend and he somehow remembered the breathing we were taught in our class and held my hand and helped with this. I was given some sort of pain medication. I don't remember what it was, but I was still attempting to go without the epidural.

I was around 7 centimeters somewhere around 4 in the afternoon and I finally asked for the epidural. They came to give it to me, but I don't think it worked right. I mean, I have since had another baby and had an epi with her and I felt NOTHING at all after that epi. Anyway...within a few minutes of getting the epidural I began to feel alot of pressure and screamed at Mark to get the nurse "RIGHT NOW!!!" He of course, took off running for the nurses. They came in and sure enough, it was time to push!!! Now, let me tell you...I was told that with the epidural, and being a first time mom, that I would not feel much and would probably push for hours. Bullshit I say!!! That child was coming! It hurt like hell! I won't lie. I started cussing. I literally only pushed for about 20 minutes, if even that long and he popped on out a little before 5:30 pm. But not before I saw stars. I swear to you, I saw stars when his head came out. I let out the mother of all screams and there was blackness and stars. Oh my goodness! They held him up for me to see. He was HUGE!!!! They took him to the little crib to check him out and clean him up before they brought him to me. He was 10 lbs!!! He was adorable and wonderful and perfect. He spent no time at all in that birth canal either, as his head was perfectly round. He was very aware and alert and held his little head up to look at me. I was in love and absolutely enamored with him. This September 11th was the best day of my life and brought such joy to everyone there.

From that day on, he has done nothing but make me a happy, proud mom and I see September 11 as a joyous occasion to celebrate the happy day of my son's birth. This past Sunday, he turned 8 years old. In the last 8 years, he has grown from a chubby cheeked, fat little cherub into a tall, skinny, silly, and very talented little boy. He is so smart and so wonderful and he makes us laugh every day. He is my son and I wouldn't have him any other way or have him born on any other day. And that is what I was doing 8 years ago on September 11.

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Sleep Walking Toddler

Recently, Stella has not been sleeping well. Actually, she has never really been a great sleeper. After having Seth, who slept through the night almost from day one, and still can sleep upwards of 15 hours at a time, I had no idea what was coming when Stella was born. But we did have a period of several months where she actually slept through the entire night. It was pure bliss. I don't really know what causes her problems at night since most of the time when she wakes up, she doesn't even know what she wants.

I have tried just letting her cry herself back to sleep, but that generally doesn't work as she just gets more upset and begins to hyperventilate. I have also tried patting her back, but it's kind of hard to pat someone's back if they refuse to lay down. Joe works the night shift, and on his days off stays on the same schedule. His office is across the hall from her room. He can hear her when she wakes up. At first I thought maybe she was just waking up because she could hear him moving around, but some nights she would stay asleep even when he was there. Then I thought maybe she was waking up because she knew Daddy would come and get her. Don't get me wrong, I have been very appreciative that he is taking care of her at night so I can sleep. It has been very helpful. But I was starting to think she was only doing it to get attention and I was very close to telling Joe to ignore her. But then she kept on waking up, even when he was at work and I knew she couldn't hear him. Grrr.

Then we started daycare and she has been sick since two days into the first week. So, of course she is waking up. She can't breathe. But now, not only is she waking at night, but also waking up uber early in the morning, like at 5 am. I don't get up until 5:30 for work. It is much more difficult to get ready for work with a toddler pulling at your leg and screaming "MOMMY!!!" My toddler doesn't care about tv unless it is her idea, and she doesn't want to eat that early, she just wants to be held. So, nothing I do works. I have to shower with her hands and face plastered to the shower door, staring at me, while whining, "Mommy, Mommy, Mommy." It's humorous and heartbreaking at the same time.

Her most recent weird habit is that she wakes up in the middle of night screaming bloody murder. I will pick her up, and she will start pointing and grunting until I go into the kitchen. This is what happened this morning. I'm thinking she needs a drink of water, so I pour a cup and hand it to her. "NO!" she will yell and bat it away. She points to the pantry and cries, "Cracker!" I'm's 3 o'clock in the morning, how can she want crackers? By this time, I'm so tired and out of it, that I'll try anything. So, I get her a package of crackers, which she then cradles in her arm like a baby doll and says, "Thank you." Odd, I think. But she happily lays her head down on my shoulder and steadies her breathing. So, I take her back to bed with her unopened package of crackers and lay her down. She contentedly rolls over and sticks her butt in the air and passes out.

When I went to get her this morning, she was still clutching her unopened package of crackers. I don't get it. What a strange comfort that is. She doesn't even want to eat the crackers. But she has been doing this for a week or so. I wonder if it's possible to sleep walk while being carried?

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Shrimp and Grits WITH CHEESE!

Recently, I was having a conversation with my dear friend Celeste regarding my weight loss journey. She was looking at some pictures of me from my cousin's wedding. She mentioned that I looked great. She said she could see I have lost weight in my waist. I said I still thought I looked pretty heavy and this is the conversation that followed. It's funny because we are talking about two different things at once. Well, it was funny to me anyway...I will leave out the chatter before the grit convo.

Celeste: Eh. That just means it's a bigger challenge...But you've got the true grit to fight and win!!!

Me: LOL. You said grit.

Celeste: Yea, like the movie, True Grit...

Me: I have never seen it. But I still think grit is a funny word. 

Celeste: Me neither, but I know of it. Oh. I don't think it's a funny word, but ok. 

Me: It reminds me of grits. Those are gross. And to tell someone they have true grit just makes me laugh. Idk, I'm odd I guess. 

Celeste: True Grit means you won't stop fighting for your goal or your beliefs. Like in Kill Bill when Uma Thurman came back with a revenge...and she overcame the physical barriers that came from her being in a coma...
Or like in Riding in Cars with Boys.

Me: Ick. Don't talk about Kill Bill. Blech.

Celeste: How she never gave up on going to college and becoming a writer. That's true grit. 

Me: I know. But it's still funny.

Celeste: When you fall you get back up. 

Me: And it still makes me think of grits. With cheese. LMAO. Shrimp and grits.

Celeste: Even if you fall and break a leg, you still get back up...


Celeste: Even if you get decapitated. You get up! 

Me: Shrimp and Grits. WITH CHEESE!!!!

Celeste: That should be your new motto.

Me: Shrimp and Grits?

Celeste: No, Shrimp and Grits with Cheese!

Me: I should post that as my status. But then people would think I am eating that. And I would never eat that. Maybe I'll put it in my blog. It's kind of humorous.
I just realized that you said you get back up even when you get decapitated. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Celeste: LMAO