Thursday, September 29, 2011

Supermom I am not...

I guess it's time I turned my cape back in. Sometimes I try to pretend like I have all my shit together, but the truth is that parenting for me is like a fly by the seat of your pants adventure.

Trying to balance a full time job that has the strictest attendance policy ever heard of, an 8 year old in 2nd grade who plays baseball, a toddler that thinks she is 13, a husband who is stuck on the night shift and a house that is never really clean is like walking into a lion's den hoping you won't get eaten alive.

As a mom, I am supposed to be the one who is organized and takes care of everything. I'm the one who knows where everything is and when everything is. But lately, I have been a little more scatterbrained than normal because I've had an extra load of stuff to deal with.

For some reason, I ended up at a job really far away from my house. Like, it takes me an hour to get there in the morning and an hour to get home in the afternoon. If it wasn't for the stupid highway known as 35 that makes me want to stab people, it probably would only take half an hour, but it takes about an hour. Also, we chose to keep Seth in tri-cities for baseball because he was happy there, even after we moved pretty far north, so on days when there is a game or practice during the week, we are in the car quite a bit since due to traffic, it also take about an hour to make it to the tri-cities area.

Tuesday, I got off work at 4 pm and headed to the daycare to get the kiddums. Practice was at 6 pm. I was having a really bad day. We ran home to change and got right back on the road. And then we got stuck in traffic on 820. It was like a parking lot. There was no way we were going to make it to practice at 6. Seth began to cry. This set Stella off. And so there we were, sitting on 820, not moving, while my kids screamed and cried in the backseat. Best. Ride. Ever.

Fast forward to yesterday. I'm sitting at work, counting down the last hour of my day when I receive a text. It says, "Game at 6 tonight. Be there at 5:30." At first, it didn't register and I just put my phone down. And then I picked it back up and looked at it and yelled out loud, "OH FUCK!!!" It was 3:30. If I didn't leave work right then, there was absolutely no way ever that I would make it to the ballpark by 5:30.

OMG!!! I went into panic mode. My heart started beating out of my chest. Stupid anxiety. How could I have forgotten there was a game!!??? How could I NOT know my kid had a game?? This has never happened to me! What kind of mom was I??? OMG, where is his uniform? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! So, I jumped up and ran out of work early. I will probably get in trouble for that later, but I don't really care that much. I jumped in Maude the Mini-van and drove like a bat out of hell and called the daycare.

Me: OMG, I need to speak to my kid because he has a baseball game and I totally forgot and I don't know where his uniform is and I'll never make it on time and I have to find his uniform and has his school bus made it in yet? Can I talk to him? Is that ok?

Daycare Lady:  Um, who is your kid?

Me: Oh. Seth.

Seth gets on the phone and he's all: WHAT? I can't hear you. Hello???

Me: Seth, omg, you have a game and I didn't know and we have to hurry, where is your uniform?

Seth: Um, I can't hear you.


Seth: Yes, you don't have to yell.

Me: Where is your uniform?

Seth: IDK

Me: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Ok, I'll see you soon.

So, I continue breaking a bunch of laws and skid into my driveway and run inside and start throwing things around, looking for his uniform. You might deduce from that sentence that I am also not very organized in my home. It's true. I'm not. I suck at cleaning. Especially at laundry. Laundry is everywhere. It's like it reproduces overnight or something. Anyway, I finally find the uniform and it's underneath a dirty blanket and it smells awful!!! So, out comes the febreeze. I sprayed the shirt like crazy and then dried it for 2 minutes in the dryer and then pulled it out. Still a little funky. So, I sprayed it with Bath & Body Works Pineapple scent.  Ha ha.

I get to the daycare and grab Seth, and he's like: OMG, MOM, you didn't tell me I had a game! When is it? Who are we playing? Where is my uniform?

Me: It's in the backseat, let's go.

He grabs the shirt and says: Mom, it smells funny. Like a girl.


So, we are driving, and this time I'm going slower because it's not ok to break laws when you have children in the car and then suddenly Stella starts yelling.

Stella: Nugg-IT!!!!

Seth: Mom, Stella said nugget.

Stella: Nugg-IT!!!! Nugg-IT!!! PWEESE!!!!!

Me: Stella, I do not have nuggets in the car. My name is Mom, not McDonald's.

Stella: NUGG-IT!!!!!!

So, Seth and I have a good chuckle and he informs me he is also starving. So, because I am a total genius and took back roads instead of the highway, I made it to the general vicinity of the game before 5:30, and I pulled into Chic-fil-a. Stella begins screaming NUGGITS!!!!! and I asked her if she would like a cheeseburger. She didn't think this was that funny and screamed NOOOOO!!!! NUGGGITTTSSSS!!!!

I got the kids some nuggets. We drove to the park and then we won our game 15-0. Seth hit a home run. He also got a game ball. We ended the night smiling and happy. See?

So, maybe I'm not supermom, but I am a mom. And I do try my best and give it my all. Every day. And that is all that matters.

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