It's no secret that I struggle with my weight. I never used to have issues losing weight or staying thin. However, during my engagement to my husband, I was plagued with a malfunctioning gall bladder and lost about 25 pounds because I could not eat anything without pain. I lived on jello and chicken broth. Once the gall bladder came out, I gained that weight back and then some because I went nuts eating. Then I got pregnant with Stella. Since she was born, I have gone up and down, but mostly up. I have never gotten back down to my previous weight. At this point in time, I am 40 pounds higher than I should be.
At work, we had a health assessment to get a discount on our insurance premium. They weigh you, take your blood pressure and cholesterol, put the results in some program and then assess you points based on their findings. According to my BMI, I land in the extreme obesity category. I know I am overweight. But extremely obese? That's pretty harsh.
This morning I received a text from my mother. It said, "Daddy said to tell you that if 40 lbs over is extremely obese, at least you are in good company. He is too and he thinks he is very handsome so that makes you fabulous."
BEST. TEXT. EVER.
And then I got to work, sat down and started working. My chair broke. Yep, it broke. I am totally not even kidding. It broke and I almost fell on my ass. And I thought, damn, maybe I am extremely obese.
But, you know what? It's ok. One day, I'll get to the weight I really want to be. Maybe not tomorrow and maybe not this month, but I'll get there. In the meantime, I think I need to learn to start loving myself again. I have to tell myself that my body produced two beautiful 10 pound children. Every day, I give my all to being everything to everyone. I am a good person. These things matter more than my weight.
My good friend told me I have the body of the Goddess. She even googled them and sent me pictures of them and said that a long time ago, a woman with my body would be worshiped and seen as an ideal bearer of children. This is why my friends are my friends and my parents rock. They always know how to make me feel better when I'm down.