Where are my keys?

Saturday was St Patrick's Day. My sister in law said it was a requirement for me to join her in celebrating her irish heritage. So, I happily allowed her to secure my MIL as a babysitter for the evening. I always love when she can stay with the kids. They love having time with Grandma and I know she enjoys seeing them as well! I was thrilled to be getting out of the house to hang out with another adult, especially since Joe had been stuck on the night shift for the last week and had to work that night as well.

The day was great, I took the kids to Seth's baseball practice and came home to start getting ready. I got dressed, cooked dinner for my kids, put on makeup, did my hair, accessorized, fed my kids and realized my lipstick was in my purse. In the car. I was 99% ready and just waiting for my sweet MIL. So, I went in the garage to get my purse out of the van. The door was locked. Hmm. I went to the other door. Locked. All doors were locked. I thought about it for a minute and was absolutely sure that I had thrown the keys down in my purse when I pulled into the garage earlier. I had taken Stella upstairs to her bed since she was asleep with the intention to come back and grab my things later.

The panic started to set in. I am supposed to meet my SIL downtown! How can I do that if I have no keys and my car is locked? Even if she came to get me, I couldn't do anything without my money or id which were in my purse. In the car. AH! So, I texted her that I locked my keys in the car. She said I must be kidding. Nope, not kidding. So, I thought, well, Joe has the extra key at work. Maybe if I call MIL before she gets to my house, I can see if she'd swing by and pick up the key! Sadly, she forgot her phone at home. LOL. But when she arrived, she was willing to go pick up the extra key for me. Yay!!

When I had my key, I opened the car and searched my purse and the entire vehicle only to discover that my keys were not actually in the car at all!!! So, they had been inside the house this entire time?! At this point, I was already late, so I just left using the spare key. I thanked my MIL for helping and kissed my kiddies and took off!

And then...I hit the traffic. UGH!!! Every highway in our area is under construction right now. It's so crazy!!! Oh and don't forget the fact that my gas light decided to come on at that moment!!! Another stop to make!
I finally made it downtown and parked in a garage and took the elevator to get down to the street level. I was wearing a rather short dress and luckily I had tights on because the wind happened to blow right at that moment and up went my dress!! Oh yes, many people saw. It was a total Marilyn Monroe moment. The rest of the evening was quite fun and I was grateful for my MIL watching the kiddos.

Oh and the keys? They were in my bathroom under a pile of clothes. How they got there is unclear and I guess I'll never know who pressed the button that locked the car! Ha.

Let me count the ways...

How have I turned into my mother? Let me count the ways...

1. I have shamelessly rolled down my window to yell at children for playing in the street.

2. I fall asleep on the couch often.

3. I say the phrase, "I'm not sleeping. I'm just resting my eyes."

4. I dance around the living room with my kids just to make them happy.

5. I say "Because I'm the mom and I said so."

6. I sometimes sit in the living room without the tv on, in the quiet, for no reason and I enjoy it.

7. I don't mind going anywhere alone anymore.

8. Even sitting in traffic alone is calming to me because I can think.

9. I have an overwhelming urge to correct teenagers when they speak inappropriately in public.

10. I can't stand loud music in retail stores and will avoid those stores like the plague.

11. I'm constantly saying, "Turn it down!" to my husband and son when they watch tv.

12. I give my son big hugs and kisses in front of his friends even though he totally doesn't want me to.

13. Sometimes, when I say things, my husband goes, "Okay Detta." That's my mom's name. LOL

Yes, the older I get, the more like my mom I become. Some people would be mortified. I, however, am honored. Because she is awesome. And I love her.

My house is more fun than yours!

Yesterday, Stella was super hyper. I mean, like running in circles, jumping up and down, screaming hyper. Joe and I were taking turns flipping her over and bouncing her on our laps.

At one point, I got on the floor to play with her. We were "growling" at each other being "scary" as she says. She was laughing hysterically and we had so much fun. Then she wanted to take a ride. So, I got on all fours and she hopped on. Off we went.

Joe didn't want to be left out of this fun and got on the floor with us. We decided we needed to race. And so with Stella on my back, I crawled across the downstairs and Joe crawled on all floors to race me. Fun was had. Laughter was made. It was awesome.

My house is more fun than yours.

Well, I don't know, maybe other people randomly have races on all fours too...

It's a BOY!!!

Joe and I have been discussing adding another fur baby to our family for a while now. And we were saving up money and taking our time really researching breeds and trying to decide if we would adopt or not. If we would get a puppy, or a grown dog, etc, etc. We had decided on a breed(husky) and we even chose a rescue group and had our sights on a particular dog. We just weren't ready yet. And then came Einstein.

Someone abandoned this sweet baby puppy and left him to starve. The security guard at work picked him up and I couldn't leave him. I just had to take him home. His ribs were prominent and it was obvious he needed some love. Joe took him to the vet and we were told he is 6-8 weeks old and a terrier mix. Aside from being underweight, he was in pretty good shape. Joe got him a name tag and his shots and decided we would keep him. Not that I really thought we wouldn't. I was in love the first moment I set my eyes on him.

Einstein is so very sweet and so darn cute. This is my first time to raise a puppy on my own. Daisy was already an adult when we brought her home and very well trained thanks to her amazing previous owners. I won't lie. It is hard. I'm tired. Stella is in a phase where she doesn't want me to put her down or leave her side. She will cry like crazy if I try to put her down to make dinner. Having to deal with that and chase a puppy around to make sure he doesn't eat a shoe or pee on the floor is crazy! But, I know that the puppy phase won't last too long and if I'm consistent, he will learn quickly. At least, that's my hope! He is learning so much, so fast and I am completely smitten. 

Now, last night didn't go so smoothly. My children were less than cooperative and Einstein was very hyper and I was just plain tired. Having a puppy is like having a newborn that can walk and doesn't wear a diaper. It's exhausting. I'll give you a summary of last night using only words that I said...

Let's go outside! Good potty!!!

Do not spit Stella!

Einstein!!! NO!!

Time out Stella!

Einstein! NO!

SETH!!

Don't do that Stella!

Einstein! NO!

SEEEETTHHH!

Stella don't hit the puppy!

Einstein! NO!

SEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEETTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Stella, Mommy really needs to make dinner.

Einstein! NO!

Daisy, be nice!

Stella time out!

Einstein!! NO!!!

SEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEETTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

And then I just sat on the couch and gave up. The end. 

But today will be better. 

At least I hope so!

Mommy Mattress

So a lot of people co-sleep. That is, their children sleep in bed with them. Seth co-slept with me for a very long time. When he was first born, I was breast feeding and had an extra bed in his room. We often fell asleep together in that bed during middle of the night feeding sessions. Then, later on, I was a single mother, and we shared a room. He had his own bed, but he preferred to sleep with me, so I happily obliged. When he was close to 3, we moved in with Joe and he had to start sleeping on his own. He still crawled in bed with us often. I won't lie...he still gets in bed with me a lot. If he is scared, if he doesn't feel well, or even just to cuddle, he will crawl in our bed. Joe recently worked the night shift for a very long time, 8 or 9 months I think. Seth slept with me for most of those nights.

Stella, on the other hand, likes her independence when she actually chooses to sleep. She views our bed as a play area and never asks to come to bed with us. Boy do I wish she would because she is not the best sleeper. Quite opposite of her big brother, actually. She sleeps through the night now...sometimes. Even though she is in a toddler bed, she still screams for me to come get her when she wakes, which happens throughout the night and most often before 6 am in the mornings. She does get out of her bed, but she bangs on her bedroom door like a prisoner. BANG BANG BANG!!! "MOMMY!!! COME GET ME MOMMY!!! MOMMY!!! I SCARED!!!!" She also cries hysterically like the world is totally ending. With tears and everything. It's not like she's locked in. At least not every time. Just kidding! I don't lock her in. I guess she hasn't realized that not only could she play with the abundance of toys in her room upon waking, but she could also turn the door knob and play with the over abundance of toys in the play room outside her bedroom! Oh well. On the weekend mornings she wakes at 5 freaking am in the morning, I would love nothing more than to bring her to my bed, where she would then sleep another two hours. This does not ever work. She just starts pinching my face and saying, "Get up! Mommy! Get up!!!" Le sigh.

Recently, she had the flu. She was definitely not feeling well at all because she would frequently fall asleep on my shoulder. She rarely falls asleep randomly anymore. She kept waking up at night and I kept trying to bring her to bed with me, thinking that since she was sick, she would go ahead and sleep. No such luck. She refuses to let me put her down and must be in my arms. She's like some sort super glue. I mean, really, you can try to pry her off of you, but her arms and legs wrap around you and she doesn't budge. Sometimes I just let go to see what will happen and she is still stuck there. I can literally walk around my house not holding on and she will not fall off of me. Sometimes I envision going out in public this way. Oh, hi! Oh this? This is just my extra appendage. Don't worry, it doesn't bite. 

I'm not sure why I torture myself so much. A few nights ago, she woke due to a coughing fit and Joe brought her to me in bed. I was so dead tired that I held onto her. She refuses to lay next to me in bed. She laid right on top of me. I was on my back. She was on her tummy, head on my chest. She did fall asleep, although it was a restless sleep. In which she continued to roll over and over, from tummy to back, never leaving my body. I was kicked and punched in many different unpleasant areas. She continued to huff and puff as if she just was not satisfied with her sleeping arrangement. I tried a few times to put her next to me and failed. Super glue I tell you! I laid there and wondered if she realized she was trying to get comfortable on top of a person. I mean, really? And then I realized, while staring at the ceiling in desperate need of sleep, that if this is how it would be if we co-slept with her, then I am glad we don't.

So, I got up and put her back to bed. And then she woke up an hour later and began banging on her door. And it started all over again. I suppose to her I am just another mattress. Ha.

Cock-a-Doodle-Doo!!!

Sometimes life is so hilarious. Seriously. It's so weird how seemingly unrelated events can stick in your head and make other things that happen later laugh out loud funny!!!

This all started when one of my awesome aunts posted this blog post( http://thebloggess.com/2011/06/and-thats-why-you-should-learn-to-pick-your-battles/)by my now favorite blogger ever. I am fairly certain that if I met her, we would be best friends forever. I'm so serious!!! Anywho, read the link if you want my story to make any kind of sense at all. I'm perfectly aware that it still might not make sense to anyone but me, but I'm okay with that. Because I enjoy laughing, even if no one else gets the joke.

So, after my entire family read that entry, we all began making jokes about chickens. Another awesome aunt of mine bought a metal chicken and put it on her porch and waited for her husband to notice. My mom made my dad pull over at a farm stand where she saw a giant metal rooster so she could take this picture.

She included the link to the above story and said she had found Beyonce's older brother Bubba. HA!!! Needless to say, we all think chickens and roosters are hilarious now.

Then, the other day, I saw this photo on Facebook and laughed hysterically because it involves a rooster and that's just funny. Plus, he's on stilts. I showed it to everyone in my house. Joe thought it was funny. Seth didn't get it and Stella just yelled, "BIRD!!! Tweet Tweet!!"

Yesterday, it was raining. And cold. I was driving down one of the main busy roads in my area and noticed a rooster trying to run across the road. I felt so bad for that rooster! I mean, it was going to get hit by a car! Luckily, the car it was running around in front of just sat there, patiently waiting for it to move. It got across the road and I cheered! Right on Rooster!!!

So, then I texted Joe: Dude, I just saw a rooster running down the street. I'm not even kidding.

He replied: On stilts?

Best text conversation ever!

P.S. It would be my dream come true if Jenny somehow saw this post. Just because I am certain she would find it funny. And because I am pretty sure she'd ask me to be her best friend.

Shenanigans

Yesterday, as I was dropping my kids off at daycare so I could happily skip down the road to work singing Tra La La La La, I opened Seth's backpack to make sure I didn't miss anything I needed. I found dirt, papers, weird little boy toys, a cereal bar, a bag of popcorn and cayenne pepper. Cayenne Pepper?? I pulled it out and this is what happened.

Me: Why do you have cayenne pepper in your backpack?

Seth:*shrug*

Me: Seriously dude. What is it for? I mean, how did you even reach it when it is in a cabinet even I have to stand on a stool to reach?

Seth: *grins with full on adorable dimple action* and *shrug* I don't know...

I naively thought he wanted to flavor his popcorn with it. And come to think of it, I'm not even sure where he got the popcorn. But then based upon my extensive research using my Facebook friends, I realized that he most likely was up to something.

When I returned home to talk to Joe, we had this conversation.

Me: You know what I found in Seth's backpack this morning?

Joe: What? Oh, hey! You know what I'd really like for Christmas?

Me: What?

Joe: For all the laundry to washed, dried, folded and put away.

Me: How much does that cost? I'll hire someone to do that for you.

Joe: Geez, you're a nice wife. What did you find in Seth's backpack?

Me: Hey man, beggars can't be choosers. Cayenne Pepper! Wtf!

Joe: Huh? Cayenne Pepper? In his backpack?

Me: Yes! How did he even reach the cabinet?

Joe: Um, Karen, I have turned around for 10 seconds and found Stella up on the counter trying to reach that   cabinet. So, I'm sure he can reach it.

Me: What???? OMG, she could fall and bust her head!!! What do you think he was doing with it?

Joe: IDK, probably trying to prank someone.

Me: Damn. They were right.

So, apparently, if your kid has a random spice in his backpack for no apparent reason, he is up to some sort of shenanigans...FYI.