I'm just me

Wow. It's been a while since I posted. Life gets so busy and has a way of passing us by when we aren't looking.

Since the last time I posted, I have been entrenched in my kingdom-um, my house and family, as an official stay at home mom. I promised myself that I'd post more often once I stayed home, so that I could remember all these moments, especially all the laughs because I have hilarious kids, but the truth is that I'm actually busier than I ever was when I worked. Kids need constant attention for the most part. Who would have thought? Just kidding, I've done the stay at home thing before. I know the ropes.

My kids are great. And difficult. And beautiful. I love them so much. I still don't feel like the family is complete and I want another baby very much. I'm getting so much sleep right now(don't get too excited. By so much, I mean that when I finally do fall asleep at night, I actually get to stay that way for like 6 whole hours!!!) and it's hard to think about starting over. But I know that the early days are over with before you know it and as I watch Stella grow into a little girl, I really miss her chubby cheeks and yes, even sleepless nights. I miss rocking her to sleep. I miss the days when she couldn't talk yet and blew bubbles. I sure wish she would learn to go potty like a big girl, but that's another story. I miss the baby stage. I mean, my oldest is already wearing deodorant and talking to his friends on the phone! Maybe someday in the next year or so, we will be blessed with another addition. Only time will tell.

My husband is amazing. I cannot begin to imagine life without him. I really didn't think it was possible to fall in love with the same person more than once. As you know, I have fallen in love with him a couple of times over the years...when we first met, and when we came together again many years later. But lately, I've been seeing him so differently and I appreciate what he does for us so much that he's almost irresistible to me. For a year, he worked the night shift and other weird times and we hardly saw him. He missed holidays and baseball games, and just about everything because he was working or sleeping. It was a really hard year for us both. He felt terrible about missing so much and the kids missed him. I missed him.

He started a new job recently. He works Monday through Friday and I see him so much more. He is happier, has more energy, and has been able to see most of Seth's baseball games. He likes to man the score board. I think it's adorable. I was thinking about what he has gone through to keep food on the table, and to keep me at home which is what we both want for our family, and I'm so grateful. He loves us so much and he works so hard. I'm so very lucky to have a man that cares so much for me. On difficult days, when my children make me want to cry, and nothing is going right, I think about him and what he's accomplished in such a short time, since we've been married, and it gives me the strength to keep going.

When I quit my job, I promised myself that I would be the best stay at home mom ever. I'd volunteer at the school all the time, my house would be spotless, my toddler would be potty trained in a week, and I'd work out every day and only cook the most wholesome meals. I'd walk Seth to school every day and I'd walk him home every day too, just to keep myself exercised and going.

Well, I haven't volunteered at the school yet, my house is generally a mess like you wouldn't believe, and my toddler refuses every effort I have in me to potty train. In fact, yesterday, she threw her panties at me after peeing in them and screamed for a diaper. In fact, the only way she uses the toilet is if she is naked. I mean, I can't cart around a naked child everywhere. I haven't worked out once yet and I've gained back nearly all the weight I lost at the beginning of the year. I try to make wholesome meals, but mostly, I just throw whatever I can find together so we can get out the door for baseball on time. I rarely get up in time to walk Seth to school so I drive him and I still haven't figured out how to work out nap time so that I can actually walk him all the way home.

That's the truth. But you know what? I'm here for my children. I'm here for my husband. I'm doing the best I can and I'm living life. Real, messy, crazy life. There is nothing I wouldn't do for my family, and while I am not perfect and I am not that great at the material things, like a spotless house and a rockin bod, I am good at being me. And I'm good at doing what I love, and that is taking care of my family.

Because you had a bad day

A couple of weeks ago, I had a bad day. I kept hearing Daniel Powter's song playing in my head the whole day long. I struggled with whether or not I would actually share the whole day or not, because the first part is super embarrassing, but now that I think about it, it's pretty funny, and I'm not too shy, so what the hell, right?

I think it was a Monday...that just screams bad day anyway. UGH. Well, after I did my normal payroll duties(pun totally intended and you'll see why) at work, I decided I deserved some lunch. I also decided I didn't have to eat healthy that day and went to Chicken Express. There were no other customers there. There were only about 4 employees. I had to go to the bathroom...and I do mean, I had to go to the bathroom.

As embarrassing as it is, everyone poops. I mean, they do! So, I had to go. I went to the bathroom and did my business. And then, it happened. The toilet wouldn't flush. "Oh shit!"(HA!) ran through my head. I just kept trying to make it work, and it wouldn't. I certainly couldn't go to an employee and say, "Oh, hi! I just pooped in your toilet and it won't flush now. You should totally go look at it!" OMG!!! So, after a conversation with myself about what I should do, I decided that no one would know it was me if the toilet wasn't working, and I left the restroom without telling anyone. However, the lady who was cleaning the tables was staring daggers at me. How did she know???!!! 


I ordered my food and for some stupid reason, decided to stay and eat. All the while, that lady was staring at me. Honestly, I think it was a set up and they totally knew the toilet was broken. UGH. Anywho, I sit down and the cashier goes to the bathroom! Imagine my horror as she comes back out and says something to the scary lady, who then looks at me and says, "She was just in there!" OH.MY.GOSH. I think I probably turned about 20 shades of red and just pretended I didn't notice. But it got worse. Of course it did, do you really think an embarrassing moment like that could get any better? The cashier goes and tells EVERYONE behind the counter that she has to pee but can't because of what's in the toilet and so she's going to the mens room. I have lost my appetite by this point. I got up and asked for a box and left, but not before some more ugly looks from the lady who still seemed to be cleaning the same table.

I finally somewhat recovered from my public humiliation before the day was over and decided to go grocery shopping after I picked up the children. I went to Aldi because I recently discovered they are super cheap and you can get almost everything you need there. I spent a good hour making sure I had everything on my list and a few extras and got in line. It was very busy and I had a full basket. The best part is that my total was only $97!! A FULL basket! Wahoo! Anyway, I go to slide my card and the cashier asks if I want cash back. Nope, I just want to use it as credit. She says they only accept debit. Oh crap! I don't have a pin! Yes, I have a debit card without a pin, and here's why...

We switched to a Credit Union and I got my new card in the mail. Joe's phone number was used to set up the account so when I called to activate my card, it would not let me select a pin since I wasn't calling from that number. I kept forgetting about it and didn't worry about it because you can use credit everywhere, right? Apparently, not at Aldi!

So, here I am feeling really stupid and there are several people in line behind me. I tell the lady I don't have a pin number and she offers to suspend my order while I figure something out. So, I step aside, and call Joe. He tells me to call the number on the back of the card. Meanwhile, I'm starting to sweat(thank you anxiety), and Seth is asking what is going on and Stella is running around in circles being very loud and obnoxious. I finally get through and find out that the number I called is only to report lost and stolen cards. This is a local credit union and there isn't a customer service center. So, since the union is closed by this time, I had no one to talk to. At this point, I'm sweating like crazy and I feel like everyone is staring at me. So, I'm holding Stella's hand while she wiggles and tries to run away and is screaming "MILK!! MOMMY I WANT MY MILK!!!" and this sweet lady walks up and asks if she can help. I just told her no thank you, I'm fine and she said, "Are you sure? Do you need me to pay for your groceries? Because I can do that."

I was shocked! I told her I couldn't possibly let her do that and she told me she had been helped in ways I couldn't imagine and she'd be happy to. I politely declined and she went on her way. I burst into tears at this point. I was just so embarrassed and frazzled and didn't know what else to do. Plus, I was just surprised that there are still such nice people in the world. I told the cashier I would be back for my groceries and apologized for the inconvenience. I drove to Joe's work, crying the whole way.

Stella handed me her shoe(because apparently, this is a great prize!) from the back seat, and said "Mommy, don't cry. It's ok Mommy." And when we parked outside of Joe's work building, Seth came up front and gave me a hug. He then proceeded to tell me a story about a day at school when he didn't have enough lunch money and the cafeteria lady stamped his hand and other kids laughed at him. He said, "Mommy, that was very embarrassing and this can't be as bad as that. You didn't know you needed a debit card and it's not your fault." Gosh, I love my kids. I got Joe's debit and went back to pay for my groceries.

I had to stop at Albertson's because not only was Stella still yelling about milk, but I just needed a drink, and a few other things. So, I got Stella her milk. She was happy. Woohoo! And I got a 6 pack of Woodchuck, only to get to the register and realize my license was in my jacket. Which I obviously didn't have with me. Seriously?!? Could this day get worse?? Luckily, the lady let it slide and luckily for her, I am not a police officer or a TABC officer. Ha ha.

I got home, got the kids fed, started dinner(which I didn't eat until 10:30 pm that night), and had a nice Spring Woodchuck to drink. That day was definitely a bad day.

Oh and guess what I found yesterday? The letter from the credit union with my pin number in it...that came to our house weeks ago. So, I had a pin number the whole time and had no idea. Yep. Such is my life.

Just for shits and giggles, here's the song that was in my head all day.

Where are my keys?

Saturday was St Patrick's Day. My sister in law said it was a requirement for me to join her in celebrating her irish heritage. So, I happily allowed her to secure my MIL as a babysitter for the evening. I always love when she can stay with the kids. They love having time with Grandma and I know she enjoys seeing them as well! I was thrilled to be getting out of the house to hang out with another adult, especially since Joe had been stuck on the night shift for the last week and had to work that night as well.

The day was great, I took the kids to Seth's baseball practice and came home to start getting ready. I got dressed, cooked dinner for my kids, put on makeup, did my hair, accessorized, fed my kids and realized my lipstick was in my purse. In the car. I was 99% ready and just waiting for my sweet MIL. So, I went in the garage to get my purse out of the van. The door was locked. Hmm. I went to the other door. Locked. All doors were locked. I thought about it for a minute and was absolutely sure that I had thrown the keys down in my purse when I pulled into the garage earlier. I had taken Stella upstairs to her bed since she was asleep with the intention to come back and grab my things later.

The panic started to set in. I am supposed to meet my SIL downtown! How can I do that if I have no keys and my car is locked? Even if she came to get me, I couldn't do anything without my money or id which were in my purse. In the car. AH! So, I texted her that I locked my keys in the car. She said I must be kidding. Nope, not kidding. So, I thought, well, Joe has the extra key at work. Maybe if I call MIL before she gets to my house, I can see if she'd swing by and pick up the key! Sadly, she forgot her phone at home. LOL. But when she arrived, she was willing to go pick up the extra key for me. Yay!!

When I had my key, I opened the car and searched my purse and the entire vehicle only to discover that my keys were not actually in the car at all!!! So, they had been inside the house this entire time?! At this point, I was already late, so I just left using the spare key. I thanked my MIL for helping and kissed my kiddies and took off!

And then...I hit the traffic. UGH!!! Every highway in our area is under construction right now. It's so crazy!!! Oh and don't forget the fact that my gas light decided to come on at that moment!!! Another stop to make!
I finally made it downtown and parked in a garage and took the elevator to get down to the street level. I was wearing a rather short dress and luckily I had tights on because the wind happened to blow right at that moment and up went my dress!! Oh yes, many people saw. It was a total Marilyn Monroe moment. The rest of the evening was quite fun and I was grateful for my MIL watching the kiddos.

Oh and the keys? They were in my bathroom under a pile of clothes. How they got there is unclear and I guess I'll never know who pressed the button that locked the car! Ha.

Let me count the ways...

How have I turned into my mother? Let me count the ways...

1. I have shamelessly rolled down my window to yell at children for playing in the street.

2. I fall asleep on the couch often.

3. I say the phrase, "I'm not sleeping. I'm just resting my eyes."

4. I dance around the living room with my kids just to make them happy.

5. I say "Because I'm the mom and I said so."

6. I sometimes sit in the living room without the tv on, in the quiet, for no reason and I enjoy it.

7. I don't mind going anywhere alone anymore.

8. Even sitting in traffic alone is calming to me because I can think.

9. I have an overwhelming urge to correct teenagers when they speak inappropriately in public.

10. I can't stand loud music in retail stores and will avoid those stores like the plague.

11. I'm constantly saying, "Turn it down!" to my husband and son when they watch tv.

12. I give my son big hugs and kisses in front of his friends even though he totally doesn't want me to.

13. Sometimes, when I say things, my husband goes, "Okay Detta." That's my mom's name. LOL

Yes, the older I get, the more like my mom I become. Some people would be mortified. I, however, am honored. Because she is awesome. And I love her.

My house is more fun than yours!

Yesterday, Stella was super hyper. I mean, like running in circles, jumping up and down, screaming hyper. Joe and I were taking turns flipping her over and bouncing her on our laps.

At one point, I got on the floor to play with her. We were "growling" at each other being "scary" as she says. She was laughing hysterically and we had so much fun. Then she wanted to take a ride. So, I got on all fours and she hopped on. Off we went.

Joe didn't want to be left out of this fun and got on the floor with us. We decided we needed to race. And so with Stella on my back, I crawled across the downstairs and Joe crawled on all floors to race me. Fun was had. Laughter was made. It was awesome.

My house is more fun than yours.

Well, I don't know, maybe other people randomly have races on all fours too...

It's a BOY!!!

Joe and I have been discussing adding another fur baby to our family for a while now. And we were saving up money and taking our time really researching breeds and trying to decide if we would adopt or not. If we would get a puppy, or a grown dog, etc, etc. We had decided on a breed(husky) and we even chose a rescue group and had our sights on a particular dog. We just weren't ready yet. And then came Einstein.

Someone abandoned this sweet baby puppy and left him to starve. The security guard at work picked him up and I couldn't leave him. I just had to take him home. His ribs were prominent and it was obvious he needed some love. Joe took him to the vet and we were told he is 6-8 weeks old and a terrier mix. Aside from being underweight, he was in pretty good shape. Joe got him a name tag and his shots and decided we would keep him. Not that I really thought we wouldn't. I was in love the first moment I set my eyes on him.

Einstein is so very sweet and so darn cute. This is my first time to raise a puppy on my own. Daisy was already an adult when we brought her home and very well trained thanks to her amazing previous owners. I won't lie. It is hard. I'm tired. Stella is in a phase where she doesn't want me to put her down or leave her side. She will cry like crazy if I try to put her down to make dinner. Having to deal with that and chase a puppy around to make sure he doesn't eat a shoe or pee on the floor is crazy! But, I know that the puppy phase won't last too long and if I'm consistent, he will learn quickly. At least, that's my hope! He is learning so much, so fast and I am completely smitten. 

Now, last night didn't go so smoothly. My children were less than cooperative and Einstein was very hyper and I was just plain tired. Having a puppy is like having a newborn that can walk and doesn't wear a diaper. It's exhausting. I'll give you a summary of last night using only words that I said...

Let's go outside! Good potty!!!

Do not spit Stella!

Einstein!!! NO!!

Time out Stella!

Einstein! NO!

SETH!!

Don't do that Stella!

Einstein! NO!

SEEEETTHHH!

Stella don't hit the puppy!

Einstein! NO!

SEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEETTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Stella, Mommy really needs to make dinner.

Einstein! NO!

Daisy, be nice!

Stella time out!

Einstein!! NO!!!

SEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEETTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

And then I just sat on the couch and gave up. The end. 

But today will be better. 

At least I hope so!

Mommy Mattress

So a lot of people co-sleep. That is, their children sleep in bed with them. Seth co-slept with me for a very long time. When he was first born, I was breast feeding and had an extra bed in his room. We often fell asleep together in that bed during middle of the night feeding sessions. Then, later on, I was a single mother, and we shared a room. He had his own bed, but he preferred to sleep with me, so I happily obliged. When he was close to 3, we moved in with Joe and he had to start sleeping on his own. He still crawled in bed with us often. I won't lie...he still gets in bed with me a lot. If he is scared, if he doesn't feel well, or even just to cuddle, he will crawl in our bed. Joe recently worked the night shift for a very long time, 8 or 9 months I think. Seth slept with me for most of those nights.

Stella, on the other hand, likes her independence when she actually chooses to sleep. She views our bed as a play area and never asks to come to bed with us. Boy do I wish she would because she is not the best sleeper. Quite opposite of her big brother, actually. She sleeps through the night now...sometimes. Even though she is in a toddler bed, she still screams for me to come get her when she wakes, which happens throughout the night and most often before 6 am in the mornings. She does get out of her bed, but she bangs on her bedroom door like a prisoner. BANG BANG BANG!!! "MOMMY!!! COME GET ME MOMMY!!! MOMMY!!! I SCARED!!!!" She also cries hysterically like the world is totally ending. With tears and everything. It's not like she's locked in. At least not every time. Just kidding! I don't lock her in. I guess she hasn't realized that not only could she play with the abundance of toys in her room upon waking, but she could also turn the door knob and play with the over abundance of toys in the play room outside her bedroom! Oh well. On the weekend mornings she wakes at 5 freaking am in the morning, I would love nothing more than to bring her to my bed, where she would then sleep another two hours. This does not ever work. She just starts pinching my face and saying, "Get up! Mommy! Get up!!!" Le sigh.

Recently, she had the flu. She was definitely not feeling well at all because she would frequently fall asleep on my shoulder. She rarely falls asleep randomly anymore. She kept waking up at night and I kept trying to bring her to bed with me, thinking that since she was sick, she would go ahead and sleep. No such luck. She refuses to let me put her down and must be in my arms. She's like some sort super glue. I mean, really, you can try to pry her off of you, but her arms and legs wrap around you and she doesn't budge. Sometimes I just let go to see what will happen and she is still stuck there. I can literally walk around my house not holding on and she will not fall off of me. Sometimes I envision going out in public this way. Oh, hi! Oh this? This is just my extra appendage. Don't worry, it doesn't bite. 

I'm not sure why I torture myself so much. A few nights ago, she woke due to a coughing fit and Joe brought her to me in bed. I was so dead tired that I held onto her. She refuses to lay next to me in bed. She laid right on top of me. I was on my back. She was on her tummy, head on my chest. She did fall asleep, although it was a restless sleep. In which she continued to roll over and over, from tummy to back, never leaving my body. I was kicked and punched in many different unpleasant areas. She continued to huff and puff as if she just was not satisfied with her sleeping arrangement. I tried a few times to put her next to me and failed. Super glue I tell you! I laid there and wondered if she realized she was trying to get comfortable on top of a person. I mean, really? And then I realized, while staring at the ceiling in desperate need of sleep, that if this is how it would be if we co-slept with her, then I am glad we don't.

So, I got up and put her back to bed. And then she woke up an hour later and began banging on her door. And it started all over again. I suppose to her I am just another mattress. Ha.

Cock-a-Doodle-Doo!!!

Sometimes life is so hilarious. Seriously. It's so weird how seemingly unrelated events can stick in your head and make other things that happen later laugh out loud funny!!!

This all started when one of my awesome aunts posted this blog post( http://thebloggess.com/2011/06/and-thats-why-you-should-learn-to-pick-your-battles/)by my now favorite blogger ever. I am fairly certain that if I met her, we would be best friends forever. I'm so serious!!! Anywho, read the link if you want my story to make any kind of sense at all. I'm perfectly aware that it still might not make sense to anyone but me, but I'm okay with that. Because I enjoy laughing, even if no one else gets the joke.

So, after my entire family read that entry, we all began making jokes about chickens. Another awesome aunt of mine bought a metal chicken and put it on her porch and waited for her husband to notice. My mom made my dad pull over at a farm stand where she saw a giant metal rooster so she could take this picture.

She included the link to the above story and said she had found Beyonce's older brother Bubba. HA!!! Needless to say, we all think chickens and roosters are hilarious now.

Then, the other day, I saw this photo on Facebook and laughed hysterically because it involves a rooster and that's just funny. Plus, he's on stilts. I showed it to everyone in my house. Joe thought it was funny. Seth didn't get it and Stella just yelled, "BIRD!!! Tweet Tweet!!"

Yesterday, it was raining. And cold. I was driving down one of the main busy roads in my area and noticed a rooster trying to run across the road. I felt so bad for that rooster! I mean, it was going to get hit by a car! Luckily, the car it was running around in front of just sat there, patiently waiting for it to move. It got across the road and I cheered! Right on Rooster!!!

So, then I texted Joe: Dude, I just saw a rooster running down the street. I'm not even kidding.

He replied: On stilts?

Best text conversation ever!

P.S. It would be my dream come true if Jenny somehow saw this post. Just because I am certain she would find it funny. And because I am pretty sure she'd ask me to be her best friend.

Shenanigans

Yesterday, as I was dropping my kids off at daycare so I could happily skip down the road to work singing Tra La La La La, I opened Seth's backpack to make sure I didn't miss anything I needed. I found dirt, papers, weird little boy toys, a cereal bar, a bag of popcorn and cayenne pepper. Cayenne Pepper?? I pulled it out and this is what happened.

Me: Why do you have cayenne pepper in your backpack?

Seth:*shrug*

Me: Seriously dude. What is it for? I mean, how did you even reach it when it is in a cabinet even I have to stand on a stool to reach?

Seth: *grins with full on adorable dimple action* and *shrug* I don't know...

I naively thought he wanted to flavor his popcorn with it. And come to think of it, I'm not even sure where he got the popcorn. But then based upon my extensive research using my Facebook friends, I realized that he most likely was up to something.

When I returned home to talk to Joe, we had this conversation.

Me: You know what I found in Seth's backpack this morning?

Joe: What? Oh, hey! You know what I'd really like for Christmas?

Me: What?

Joe: For all the laundry to washed, dried, folded and put away.

Me: How much does that cost? I'll hire someone to do that for you.

Joe: Geez, you're a nice wife. What did you find in Seth's backpack?

Me: Hey man, beggars can't be choosers. Cayenne Pepper! Wtf!

Joe: Huh? Cayenne Pepper? In his backpack?

Me: Yes! How did he even reach the cabinet?

Joe: Um, Karen, I have turned around for 10 seconds and found Stella up on the counter trying to reach that   cabinet. So, I'm sure he can reach it.

Me: What???? OMG, she could fall and bust her head!!! What do you think he was doing with it?

Joe: IDK, probably trying to prank someone.

Me: Damn. They were right.

So, apparently, if your kid has a random spice in his backpack for no apparent reason, he is up to some sort of shenanigans...FYI.

A sticker? Seriously?

This past weekend, my baby turned 2. This is so depressing. But that's not what my story is about. My story is about being THAT mom. You know, the one who has a screaming kid in a public place. Yea, that one.

Saturday morning, I dressed the kids up for Christmas pictures. Stella was having none of that...as you can see here in her facial expression...

Perhaps I should have known that this was not the day to run errands, but they had to be done with her party the next day. So, after her nap, I ventured out. It was cold and raining. I ran the errands and was at the last store, picking up the last few things we needed. I don't even remember what set her off, but Stella began getting fussy and was getting close to tantrum status. 

Of course, you know it's the law that when your kid is being a total brat that there will only be 3 checkers and like 5 million customers in line and you will undoubtedly pick the one line where the person at the front has coupons and complains about the price of every item. Oh and don't forget that the cashier will have issues and have to call for help. Yep. This is what happened to me. And then it began. Stella started to cry about whatever it was. I really don't remember what. 

So, I'm standing there, holding her while she climbs all over me, contorts her body in ways that can't possibly be human, and screams at the top of her lungs, "MOMMY!! NO MOMMY!!!" People start looking at us. Seth starts laughing, because I guess it's hilarious when your little sister starts acting a fool. Me? I start sweating. My anxiety is kicking in. I am sure my face is bright red. But I will.not.back.down. Nope, I will keep calm and pretend it isn't bothering me. I am trying my best to ignore her because the more I say, "Oh Stella, sweetie, we will be done soon, it's alright" in my nice voice, the more she screams and the louder it gets. So, I just stop trying to say anything to her and try to keep her from hurting herself. I just try not to look at the people who are staring at me like I have two heads, even though I really just want to say to them to mind their own business. I mean, don't they realize it is just as embarrassing to me as it is annoying to them? 

Anywho, it seems to be slowing down, which is good because we have been standing in this line without moving for at least 10 minutes. I swear it had to be that long. Ok, so it was probably more like 5 but it really felt longer than that. Suddenly, Stella bit me. Ohmygosh, she bit me! I could not believe it! It hurt really bad too, so now I am not only sweating profusely and beet red, but also have tears in my eyes. I of course said, "No Bite Stella! We do not bite!" in my firmest mom voice. This set off a brand new fit of screaming. Oh gosh. This is just great. I didn't know what to do anymore so I just held her and let her scream. Everyone stared at me. I wanted to scream. I mean, look, we all read the articles and every book under the sun to learn how to deal with a tantrum. Some say take the child away to calm down. Well, this was not practical in this case because I had already been standing in line for so long and if I left now, I'd just have to stand in line again and she'd just flip out again. Also, it was cold and raining outside. So taking her outside wasn't the best option. Yes, we all know there are things we are supposed to do when our kid throws a tantrum. But none of those things really work in the heat of the moment in public. Plus, you can't reason with a toddler. It just doesn't work. 

Finally, after what seems like ALL FREAKING DAY LONG, we make it to the cashier. She asks how I am and I very honestly say "Well, embarrassed, how are you?" She hands Stella a sticker. And she stops crying!!! She even smiles. And sits down in the cart, happily playing with her sticker. You have got to me kidding me!!!??? Some teenage girl just gives her a random, orange sticker that merely says "thank you" on it and that shuts her up???!!! I nearly cried. From frustration or elation, I'm not sure which, but it really doesn't matter. 

All I know is that I'm pretty sure we've all been there, in public, with a screaming child acting completely nutso like they are possessed by some demon. Everyone looks at you like you're an alien and like they would never ever let their kid act that way. But let me tell you something. They probably would. Because at the end of the day, the kid will calm down and will smile and you'll be so happy, you forget about the tantrum that got you all flustered in the first place.

Oh and by the way, the spot she bit me? Right on the neck. And it looks like I have a hickey. And people have been staring at that too. Fantastic.

Red Headed Freak

In the mornings, I drop my kids off at daycare. Stella goes in one room and Seth goes in another. Generally, he walks straight into his and I come back to tell him goodbye after I get his sister settled.

*Note* I died my hair a lovely shade of auburn this past weekend. Yes, it's pertinent to the story.

Anywho...I got Stella settled and went to Seth's room to say goodbye. He was sitting at a table holding court with two girls who were clearly entranced with whatever he was talking about. Star Wars or Transformers, I'm sure. Very stimulating conversation. I kept saying his name over and over but he didn't hear me. So, I walked over to him and said his name once more.

He looked up at me with that mischievous grin and said, "Hi, you red headed freak!" At this exact moment, a mother was sitting her daughter, who was definitely not more than 4 or 5 years old, down at the table and her eyes got so wide. She definitely did not approve of his endearing greeting. I was in panic mode! She is judging me with those eyes! She thinks my kid is a hooligan!! OH DEAR GOD, what do I do!???!!!

Of course I immediately said, "Seth, that is not an appropriate thing to say to anyone. We don't want others repeating something like that." I said this in my very calm, nice mother who never cusses voice. The other mother swiftly nodded and left. WHEW. Fuck, that was close. Man, I thought it was going to get ugly. Really, I found his outburst quite hilarious. I almost laughed. Out loud.

Wasabi is NOT a decongestant

I am coming out of what might be the worst sinus infection I've ever had. I mean, it was bad. I thought it was a normal cold. At least, that's how it started anyway. I woke up with a sore throat on last Sunday and by Friday, my face was puffy and I couldn't breathe if my life depended on it!

Thursday, I was so miserable that I didn't know what else to do. I had tried everything! I had tried vapo-rub, I had tried running the shower as hot as possible and sitting in the steam. I had tried sudafed, sinex, and all the other decongestants I could get my hands on. I was desperate!!! So, after Seth's baseball practice Thursday, I stopped at my favorite sushi place and got the Louisiana Roll. I got that because it is one of the spiciest rolls on the menu and I knew it would also have wasabi. Surely, if I put some wasabi on my sushi, it would clear up my head!

I got home and I put a tiny amount of the wasabi on my sushi and ate it. Nothing. Seriously. Nothing. I didn't taste it. I thought...hmmm...normally, that small amount would make my nose burn and my eyes water! So, I put a bigger glob on the next piece. I put it in my mouth, so hungry for sweet relief...but once again, I tasted nothing. Nothing at all!! I wanted to cry. I put a small amount directly on my tongue...I am completely serious. I was that desperate. It didn't work. I would have cried, by my sinuses were so swollen I think my tear ducts were broken.

I went to Care Now the next day after going to work for a whopping 20 minutes. My boss took one look at me and said, "Go home!" So, I drove to Care Now, feeling like my head would explode from the pressure at any moment. When the nurse asked me if I had taken any medications, I told her everything I had tried to clear up my congestion, including eating wasabi.

So, the dr comes in, takes one look at me and says, "You definitely have a sinus infection. Even your face is swollen!" Of course, she did an exam and said everything was super swollen and she would recommend a steroid shot in addition to antibiotics. And then as she is looking at the chart, she makes a funny face. I can't imagine what she is looking at. And this became a strange and awkward conversation.

Dr: Huh.

Me: What is it?

Dr: I guess I've never heard of this before. You took wasabi decongestant?

Me: Um. No. What?

Dr: It says here that you took wasabi decongestant to try to clear your sinuses.

Me: Oh. Um, I tried to eat some because I was that desperate. It's not like it comes in pill form or something.

She started laughing and showed me that the nurse had written it down as a medicine. Ha! Silly nurse.

Later that night, as I laid there feeling sorry for myself, Seth crawled into bed with me and grinned that adorable dimpled grin at me.

Seth: Snuggle me. I'm ready for bed.

Me: I am sick and weak. Want to be a big boy and snuggle yourself?

Seth: No! I'm not a big boy. I'm a little tiny boy the size of an acorn.

Me: Say what?

Seth: Snuggle me!

Me: Ok. You win.

Who can resist those dimples? Seriously.

What do you DO all day?

I was the first out of my friends to have a child. I was a very young 21 when Seth blessed my life. Parenthood has changed me in so many ways. One of the things I still have a hard time with to this day is the loss of friendships once kids are in the picture. I lost quite a few. As the years have gone on, friends have come and gone and the ones I lost are now starting to have children themselves. I can only hope that they might look back on how they acted towards me and say, "Oh. I get it now." Someone posted this article, and I had to share because it speaks the truth.

Obesity

It's no secret that I struggle with my weight. I never used to have issues losing weight or staying thin. However, during my engagement to my husband, I was plagued with a malfunctioning gall bladder and lost about 25 pounds because I could not eat anything without pain. I lived on jello and chicken broth. Once the gall bladder came out, I gained that weight back and then some because I went nuts eating. Then I got pregnant with Stella. Since she was born, I have gone up and down, but mostly up. I have never gotten back down to my previous weight. At this point in time, I am 40 pounds higher than I should be.

At work, we had a health assessment to get a discount on our insurance premium. They weigh you, take your blood pressure and cholesterol, put the results in some program and then assess you points based on their findings. According to my BMI, I land in the extreme obesity category. I know I am overweight. But extremely obese? That's pretty harsh.

This morning I received a text from my mother. It said, "Daddy said to tell you that if 40 lbs over is extremely obese, at least you are in good company. He is too and he thinks he is very handsome so that makes you fabulous."

BEST. TEXT. EVER.

Thanks Daddy!!!

And then I got to work, sat down and started working. My chair broke. Yep, it broke. I am totally not even kidding. It broke and I almost fell on my ass. And I thought, damn, maybe I am extremely obese.

But, you know what? It's ok. One day, I'll get to the weight I really want to be. Maybe not tomorrow and maybe not this month, but I'll get there. In the meantime, I think I need to learn to start loving myself again. I have to tell myself that my body produced two beautiful 10 pound children. Every day, I give my all to being everything to everyone. I am a good person. These things matter more than my weight.

My good friend told me I have the body of the Goddess. She even googled them and sent me pictures of them and said that a long time ago, a woman with my body would be worshiped and seen as an ideal bearer of children. This is why my friends are my friends and my parents rock. They always know how to make me feel better when I'm down.

Little Rangers

My son joined a team called the Rangers last summer for a tournament. He plays short stop and he does a great job in that position. He stayed with the team for the fall season and we plan to stick with the team for as long as they'll have us because they ROCK!!! Seth is so happy with these kids and I love them all and the coach and assistant coaches are absolutely awesome!

This past weekend, we went to a tournament and despite some difficulties in the other recent tournaments, we managed to get 2nd place at this one and qualified for a World Series tournament next summer. The boys have been working SO hard on their defense and it really shows. They played absolutely amazing this weekend and I  have never been much of a yeller or a screamer, but I will admit I scream my heart out at these games. I jump up and down and I clap until my hands hurt and I get nervous when it's close. I absolutely love watching my son and his team play and I get so excited for every boy. They are amazing kids.

I have heard a lot of people say that baseball is boring recently. Our Texas Rangers are in the World Series so more people are paying attention. I love baseball. I never got into football, but baseball is the best. I don't see how anyone can find it boring. But I especially think that it is impossible for it to be boring at the level my son is playing. It is pretty action packed when the teams are good. I love it. I am passionate about it and I am beyond proud of my son's natural talent and his perseverance to get better. He practices ALL the time. He lives for baseball.

Here is a video one of the dads made of the last two games we played in the tournament. It's pretty awesome. Seth was wearing #8.

Chicken Fajitas Please

So, if you know me, you know I love me some mexican food. Yummy!

The other day, I left home without making my lunch and had to venture out for lunch during the work day. I decided some fajitas would be great, so I pulled into the Taco Cabana drive thru. They have a personal chicken fajitas skillet that I enjoy.

After the standard "Welcome to Taco Cabana" greeting I was left in silence. Finally the girl mumbled almost inaudibly, "Order when you're ready."

This is the conversation that followed:

Me: I would like the personal sized chicken fajitas with no beans, please.

Silence, lasting like a whole 30 long seconds and then...

Her: Chicken Fajitas...what?

Me: Um. Chicken Fajitas. With no beans. Exactly what I said.

Her: But chicken fajitas what? Chicken Fajita tacos? Chicken Fajita Quesadilla?

At this point, I realize I'm dealing with a real winner so I decided to stick to my guns.

Me: Um, no. Chicken Fajitas. Period. Like I said. Personal sized, with no beans.

Her: But there are several fajita options on the menu. Do you want tacos? Do you want a pound of fajitas?

Me: *HEAVY SIGH* No. I don't want tacos. I want fajitas. I said this. Do you no longer have the personal fajita skillet?

Her: Ok, pull around.

After rolling my eyes, I pull up to the window. And then she starts calling me Hun. Oh good lord, why did she have to do that? I hate it when people call me hun, honey, sweetie, or any other pet name like that. I am not your sweetie. I am a random stranger that means nothing to you. Please do not insult me with your weird niceties. UGH. Anyway...

Her: That'll be whatever the amount was.

Then she says: Hun, when you say chicken fajitas, no one knows what you're talking about.

Me: Are you kidding me? You aren't serious right now. If someone asks for chicken fajitas, naturally I assume they want CHICKEN FAJITAS!!! I mean, it's on the menu. If I wanted chicken fajita tacos, I would have said so.

Her: Well, hun, we didn't know what you meant.

I just looked at her completely stunned. I mean, I'm pretty sure I'm not a complete moron. I am pretty sure when I eat at any tex mex restaurant and I order the chicken fajitas, the waiter brings me the chicken fajitas!! WTH!!

She gives me my food and has the audacity to tell me to have a good day HUN. UGH.

The best part? They gave me beef fajitas. The jerks.

My Family

We had a parent teacher conference on Monday with Seth's teacher. He is doing very well in 2nd grade. She had nothing but wonderful news with regard to his grades, skills, and behavior. Yay! She also gave us a sample of his writing. She asked the kids to write about their family and she intended to use that to show parents where our kids' writing skills are at currently. Here is what Seth wrote.

Wow. I'm so glad the teacher thinks we sleep and play on Facebook all day. That's pretty awesome parenting!

F*** You Mom!!

A glimpse into the future or a random coincidence? I suppose this remains to be seen.

Out of the Park!!!

Over the weekend, Seth's team went to a AA tournament. On Saturday morning, we played a game that we ended up losing, but my wonderful kiddo helped to get the 2 points we got.

There was one runner on base, and Seth was up to bat. He had two strikes. I really thought he was going to strike out. And then, the pitch came in and PING!!! He hit the ball. It went up in the air and I  thought it was going to be foul. But it wasn't. And it went over the fence. OVER THE FENCE!!!!

My 8 year old baby boy hit a homerun out of the park!!! He ran the bases and all the boys ran out of the dugout to greet him at home plate. I, of course, ran over to the dugout to meet him and he was blushing, looking very embarrassed.

My son doesn't care to be the center of attention. If you know him well, you probably would never believe this, but he is really very shy. I stuck my fingers through the fence for a high five and he gave me a tiny little smile, which he immediately covered with his hand in order to hide it and then gave me one little finger. This is his new way of giving a high five. He points his finger and you are supposed to touch his finger with your finger. It's kind of like a fist bump, except with just one finger.

I love that boy. He rocks my socks off every day!

Supermom I am not...

I guess it's time I turned my cape back in. Sometimes I try to pretend like I have all my shit together, but the truth is that parenting for me is like a fly by the seat of your pants adventure.

Trying to balance a full time job that has the strictest attendance policy ever heard of, an 8 year old in 2nd grade who plays baseball, a toddler that thinks she is 13, a husband who is stuck on the night shift and a house that is never really clean is like walking into a lion's den hoping you won't get eaten alive.

As a mom, I am supposed to be the one who is organized and takes care of everything. I'm the one who knows where everything is and when everything is. But lately, I have been a little more scatterbrained than normal because I've had an extra load of stuff to deal with.

For some reason, I ended up at a job really far away from my house. Like, it takes me an hour to get there in the morning and an hour to get home in the afternoon. If it wasn't for the stupid highway known as 35 that makes me want to stab people, it probably would only take half an hour, but it takes about an hour. Also, we chose to keep Seth in tri-cities for baseball because he was happy there, even after we moved pretty far north, so on days when there is a game or practice during the week, we are in the car quite a bit since due to traffic, it also take about an hour to make it to the tri-cities area.

Tuesday, I got off work at 4 pm and headed to the daycare to get the kiddums. Practice was at 6 pm. I was having a really bad day. We ran home to change and got right back on the road. And then we got stuck in traffic on 820. It was like a parking lot. There was no way we were going to make it to practice at 6. Seth began to cry. This set Stella off. And so there we were, sitting on 820, not moving, while my kids screamed and cried in the backseat. Best. Ride. Ever.

Fast forward to yesterday. I'm sitting at work, counting down the last hour of my day when I receive a text. It says, "Game at 6 tonight. Be there at 5:30." At first, it didn't register and I just put my phone down. And then I picked it back up and looked at it and yelled out loud, "OH FUCK!!!" It was 3:30. If I didn't leave work right then, there was absolutely no way ever that I would make it to the ballpark by 5:30.

OMG!!! I went into panic mode. My heart started beating out of my chest. Stupid anxiety. How could I have forgotten there was a game!!??? How could I NOT know my kid had a game?? This has never happened to me! What kind of mom was I??? OMG, where is his uniform? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! So, I jumped up and ran out of work early. I will probably get in trouble for that later, but I don't really care that much. I jumped in Maude the Mini-van and drove like a bat out of hell and called the daycare.

Me: OMG, I need to speak to my kid because he has a baseball game and I totally forgot and I don't know where his uniform is and I'll never make it on time and I have to find his uniform and has his school bus made it in yet? Can I talk to him? Is that ok?

Daycare Lady:  Um, who is your kid?

Me: Oh. Seth.

Seth gets on the phone and he's all: WHAT? I can't hear you. Hello???

Me: Seth, omg, you have a game and I didn't know and we have to hurry, where is your uniform?

Seth: Um, I can't hear you.

Me: SETH CAN YOU HEAR ME?

Seth: Yes, you don't have to yell.

Me: Where is your uniform?

Seth: IDK

Me: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Ok, I'll see you soon.

So, I continue breaking a bunch of laws and skid into my driveway and run inside and start throwing things around, looking for his uniform. You might deduce from that sentence that I am also not very organized in my home. It's true. I'm not. I suck at cleaning. Especially at laundry. Laundry is everywhere. It's like it reproduces overnight or something. Anyway, I finally find the uniform and it's underneath a dirty blanket and it smells awful!!! So, out comes the febreeze. I sprayed the shirt like crazy and then dried it for 2 minutes in the dryer and then pulled it out. Still a little funky. So, I sprayed it with Bath & Body Works Pineapple scent.  Ha ha.

I get to the daycare and grab Seth, and he's like: OMG, MOM, you didn't tell me I had a game! When is it? Who are we playing? Where is my uniform?

Me: It's in the backseat, let's go.

He grabs the shirt and says: Mom, it smells funny. Like a girl.

Woops.

So, we are driving, and this time I'm going slower because it's not ok to break laws when you have children in the car and then suddenly Stella starts yelling.

Stella: Nugg-IT!!!!

Seth: Mom, Stella said nugget.

Stella: Nugg-IT!!!! Nugg-IT!!! PWEESE!!!!!

Me: Stella, I do not have nuggets in the car. My name is Mom, not McDonald's.

Stella: NUGG-IT!!!!!!

So, Seth and I have a good chuckle and he informs me he is also starving. So, because I am a total genius and took back roads instead of the highway, I made it to the general vicinity of the game before 5:30, and I pulled into Chic-fil-a. Stella begins screaming NUGGITS!!!!! and I asked her if she would like a cheeseburger. She didn't think this was that funny and screamed NOOOOO!!!! NUGGGITTTSSSS!!!!

I got the kids some nuggets. We drove to the park and then we won our game 15-0. Seth hit a home run. He also got a game ball. We ended the night smiling and happy. See?

So, maybe I'm not supermom, but I am a mom. And I do try my best and give it my all. Every day. And that is all that matters.